


When The Dust Clears

by snowprincess



Series: Azure Skies [2]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: AU, Amnesia, Angst, Blow Jobs, Case Fic, Falling In Love, Hurt Danny "Danno" Williams, Jealousy, M/M, Mpreg, Protective Steve, reconnecting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-02-08 21:19:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12873252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowprincess/pseuds/snowprincess
Summary: Danny is left with amnesia after being injured.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of the Danny and Steve saga that started with The Best Days Are All Ahead.

“I want to have another baby.”

“What? Danny, are you sure?”

Steve was skeptical, remembering Danny’s pregnancy. He kept a wary eye on Dylan who was going through a phase where he liked to play with his food. The men were trying to get through breakfast without wearing their infant son’s food. Steve looked around the pristine kitchen and wondered how long it would remain that way. He noticed that Danny cleverly stayed on the far side of the room, out of reach in case Dylan propelled cereal in his direction.

“I’m ready. Our case load has been light and it left me with lots of time to think. Dylan is a year old and if we have one now, then the kids get to grow up together. The most important reason, I guess, is that I really don’t want to leave it too late, babe. We’re not getting any younger.”

Danny looked thoughtful as he toyed with his soda spoon. Steve sat back from Dylan’s high chair and used the time it took to wipe their son’s mouth to consider his next words.  
Danny’s reasoning made a great deal of sense, but he wondered if his husband were mentally ready for another pregnancy.

“Okay. There’s s lot of merit to what you said, but I would hate to think we’re doing this because you think we’re old - because we’re not, you know. We’d definitely be better prepared this time and trying to get pregnant will be fun.”

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Danny felt content as he sat with the rest of the team. They had spent most of their day camped out on Danny and Steve’s lawn after everyone had been invited for a barbecue. Danny had a doctor’s appointment for the following week that he hoped would bring him good news. He and Steve hadn’t been trying seriously for a baby, but it was something they both wanted. He first wanted his husband to get used to the idea. Roars of laughter brought him out of his thoughts. Joe had good-naturedly revealed some of Steve’s less than stellar moments during his BUDS training that left Steve blushing.  
The SEAL was seated on the grass in front of Danny’s chair, easily folding his body into the space between Danny’s spread legs. Danny was now only half listening to Joe. He was painfully aware of Steve’s bare arm brushing against the sensitive skin of his inner thigh as he leaned back. The SEAL always liked to be within touching distance. He had been this way ever since Danny’s rescue from Wo Fat and even more so after the situation during their honeymoon.  
Danny was about to run his fingers through Steve’s curls when the man turned and squinted up at him.

“You okay?” Steve’s voice was drowned out by their friends’ raucous laughter.

Danny mouthed the words ‘I love you’ as he touched the tiny frown line that had formed between his husband’s brows. He leaned forward and briefly touched his lips to Steve’s, not caring about the jeering and whoops from the others.

The team’s afternoon was cut short when all their phones rang out simultaneously in an off key chorus. Steve was the first one up, pulling Danny to his feet after him.

“You should stay, Danny. The entire team is here. We can handle it.”

Danny shook his head and smiled.

“You can’t tell me that yet, babe. Besides, who’s going to keep you in line?”

He chuckled teasingly as he rushed off in the direction of the house.

The team had received a tip about an ongoing kidnapping case that had revealed a shadowy group that was trafficking children through the islands.

Their lead had taken them to a warehouse that they hoped was the traffickers’ base of operations. They were accompanied by a team from HPD officers who secured the outer area. They were prepared for a raid, but the building seemed abandoned after the team carefully searched and cleared each area. Satisfied that no one was there, the team decided to start opening the large crates that were stacked up high everywhere.  
The crates seemed to have a second purpose as they were placed in such a way that they formed seven distinct sections within the warehouse. Danny disappeared from Steve’s line of sight, opting to go into the centre area.  
He heard Danny calling him and was about to follow when he was distracted by shouting and gesturing from Chin. A young patrolman had pried open a crate that contained an incendiary device that was set to ignite in less than a minute.  
There was a loud crack and seconds later Steve was propelled forward by a shockwave that threw him against the heavy crates in front of him. A catastrophic explosion had left the warehouse in complete devastation. Steve felt disoriented and unable to hear his own voice above the ringing in his ears as he called for Danny. It was difficult to breathe in the thick dust that surrounded him. He struggled to his feet and immediately hunched over in pain. Wrapping a protective arm around his ribcage, he began to search for his husband. He noticed someone hurrying towards the back of the warehouse, but was unable to focus or follow.

He came across Joe who was shouting something that Steve couldn’t quite hear. He awkwardly knelt beside the older man as they both began to remove debris. Danny was half hidden beneath two crates, and as they removed sharply splintered wood from around his body, paramedics began to arrive. Danny didn’t respond when Steve called his name, but the SEAL was relieved that he was at least breathing.

Steve was shocked when he took in the state of the warehouse as they limped out towards various ambulances. He was surprised that they had survived the blast. None of their team had escaped unscathed, but the patrolman that had discovered the bomb had perished in the explosion.

Steve rode to the hospital with Danny who had not regained consciousness. Joe joined him in the emergency room to discuss their afternoon while they were being treated for their injuries.

“That was not how I thought I’d wind up my day. That raid wasn’t right, Steve.”

The older man was covered in cuts and bruises, as were most of the injured that came in from the warehouse.

“It was a set up. I’m sure of it. There was obviously nothing in that warehouse. The tip off was probably just to get us out there.”

“Who do you like for this?”

“Can’t say for sure. We’ve made so many enemies. My instinct tells me it is definitely our current case. We’ve never been able to find who is in charge. Each time we get close, people start dying.”

Joe who kept notes on everything started scribbling, much to the annoyance of his nurse.  
“There also doesn’t seem to be any pattern to what they’re doing. They run guns and drugs, but lately the amount of kids being trafficked through the islands is ridiculous. It must be someone trying to make a name for themselves or make money fast.”

“Maybe it’s both. We need to redouble our efforts and look at every criminal that’s either escaped or been released from prison. I think Danny saw someone before the explosion. I saw someone running out at the far end of the warehouse. Danno also wasn’t anywhere near where I left him. We’ll need to talk to him when he wakes up.”

Steve tried to concentrate on the case as it helped him to not think too much about Danny’s condition. 

The team was mostly out of commission and Steve wasn’t yet allowed to see Danny due to the severity of his injuries. After speaking to Danny’s doctor, the SEAL reluctantly went home to his son. Since none of the team had been cleared for field duty, Steve had nothing but time to think of the worst case scenarios about his husband. It had been three days since the explosion and Danny had not regained consciousness. Steve dutifully went to the hospital and sat by his bed for hours. He sometimes brought their son in the hopes that it would make a difference. 

It was just over a week later and Steve had all but given up hope. The house was very quiet without Danny and even Dylan was missing him. Danny’s parents had arrived the day after the explosion and Clara had been a welcome distraction for the baby. Danny’s situation was causing Clara a great deal of stress, but she always smiled when she visited Danny and managed to keep him calm.  
Steve was at home folding laundry when the call came. He dropped everything and rushed to the hospital.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

The sounds around him were muffled and he could make out blurred shapes through his half open eyelids. The light hurt his eyes until he became aware of the excruciating pain in his head. There was a nurse in his room who spoke to him, but nothing made any sense. She smiled, patted is arm and then the pain became less sharp. It was reduced to a dull throb in the back of his head. His mouth felt dry and he tried to speak, but no words came out.  
The nurse spoke some more and then it was dark again. 

The next time Danny opened his eyes, he felt stronger. There was less pain and his throat felt less parched. The nurse was at his side again, talking.

“Do you know where you are, Danny?”

“Hospital?”

“That’s right.”

A moment later there was a man with dark hair and a doctor talking in the open doorway to his room.

“Danny do you know what year it is?”

Danny thought that the question was ridiculous, but humored the nurse, who didn’t seem very happy with his answer. Patting his arm again, she went to speak to the doctor. 

It was then that the strangest thing happened. 

The dark haired man became very agitated and was sent away.

“Why was that guy so angry?”

His nurse who had returned told him not to worry before everything went dark again.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

"This is bad."

Steve was angry. His ribcage still hurt, but the team was back on duty – everyone except Danny. He had gone straight from the hospital to headquarters where he had found Joe in his office.

 

"He's going to be okay, son."

 

"This is such a mess. He doesn't know me or Dylan. His doctor is reluctant to release him and he’s seeing a shrink. I was allowed to see him for a few minutes, but his memory is gone. There are a whole lot of layers of issues to get through here as well. Where do I even start?" 

 

“His doctors didn’t say that his amnesia was permanent and from what you’ve told me, he’s lost five years. He could well get all of his memories back. Give him some time, Steve.”

 

“You don't understand. We might not have the luxury of time. Danny could be pregnant.”

 

Steve's calm tone was at odds with the gravity of his words. Joe laid a comforting hand on the SEAL's shoulder. The two men sat quietly together with Steve's revelation hanging heavily between them.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Danny shifted uneasily on the overstuffed leather couch. It squeaked each time he moved. He had been seeing a psychiatrist ever since he woke up in a hospital in a strange place. He imagined that a case had brought him to the islands, but he didn’t understand how he had managed to lose five years of his life.  
These sessions were to help him open up about his trauma, but he remembered nothing.  
He was shocked the first time he saw his reflection. His hair was far too long and he was leaner than he had been before.  
He wanted to go back to New Jersey and talk to Rachel. She always knew what to say. At least his parents were here. His mother came to see him every day. She smiled and told him stories about the family, but she always looked like she wanted to cry.

Danny wondered about the angry guy he had seen after waking up. The man had the same look his mother had. He had come to see him twice, but he didn’t say much. Danny was irritated because the psychiatrist didn’t say much either. She just asked questions that he had no answers to. 

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

“Ma, I want to go home. Can we book a flight already?”

Danny was back in his room and managed to get from his wheelchair into his bed by himself for the first time.  
Once he had settled himself, his mother sat on the edge of the bed and took his hand in hers.

“The doctors haven’t released you yet. Besides, this is your home, baby. The doctors were so careful about how much information they gave you, but I think you need to stay here and once you hear what I have to say, you might want to wait before going to Jersey.”

Clara wondered about the wisdom of telling Danny more, but she felt that he might make things worse if he left.

“You stayed in Hawaii because you got married and you have loved ones here.”

“What?! I’m married?! Where is my wife? You, dad and the angry guy, Steve, are the only people who are allowed to see me. Was she not allowed to visit me?”

Danny’s headache was back, but he had been trying not to use pain medication. He felt like it dulled his senses and made it harder to remember things. He always felt like there was something at the edge of his memory – it was always frustratingly out of reach.

Clara looked apprehensive, but pressed on.

“You’re married to Steve, baby. Steve is your husband.”

 

END Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny feels isolated.

Danny was very quiet. He searched his mother’s face for clues as to whether she was joking. She stared at him wide eyed, her mouth half open. She seemed almost afraid to breathe, like someone walking on cracking ice. That was how he knew that she was serious. When she saw realization in his eyes, she averted her gaze.  
He ran through every encounter he had had with Steve in his mind, but the man had been like a stone wall. His mother’s revelation explained Steve’s stoic silence.

“Is that why he spent so much time here and why he looked so sad?”

Confusion fogged Danny’s mind. He wondered how this could be possible. He wasn’t gay and always identified as heterosexual. He fired more and more questions at his mother and he had the feeling that she was trying to answer without revealing too much more. The gap in his memory was frustrating and he could only guess at what had transpired over the past two years.

“Mom, I’m not gay.”

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“Jesus! Can you please not say that? What are you sorry about exactly?! Are you sorry that I don’t remember the last five years or are you sorry you had to be the one to tell me I’m married to a guy?”

“I’m sorry that I can’t tell you more.”

Danny felt suddenly claustrophobic in his too bright room. He threw back his covers and swung his feet out of the bed. His head felt like it was splitting. Stabbing pain brought on a wave of nausea and he wanted to be outside to get some air.  
He tried to steady himself, but his dizziness left the room tilting disconcertingly. He was in a heap on the floor before his mother reached him. Her shocked face briefly came into view before medical staff loomed over him. He heard someone call his name before everything became dark.  
Clara rushed out of her son’s room and sank down onto a couch in the family room. She had no idea how long she had sat there staring at the phone in her hands, but when she looked up, Steve was standing in front of her.

“You called me, so when you didn’t talk, I tracked your phone here. What’s going on? Is Danny okay?”

Clara broke down. 

“Oh Steve, I think I did something really bad. Danny was going to try and leave the islands, so I told him you were married.”

Steve was stony faced and remained calm as something gave way inside him. He hugged his mother-in-law who was now sobbing uncontrollably. She had held it together well, but they were all beginning to feel the strain of keeping secrets.

“It’s okay. Maybe this is a good thing. We weren’t allowed to tell him anything and he isn’t really remembering.”

“But he’s had some kind of seizure. It was so scary! It’s all my fault.” 

Steve gripped Clara by her shoulders. He held her at arm’s length and waited until she made eye contact.

“Look, in our line of work, what Danny doesn’t remember can be dangerous. All of this is a massive problem and I’m going to need you to be strong for a little while longer. Okay?”

“Okay” came the shaky reply.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Danny dreamed that he was in New Jersey, caught in a freak rain storm, but when he woke up, sunlight poured in through the window and Steve was staring at him from a chair beside his bed.

“How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts and I’m homesick.”

Steve continued as though he hadn’t heard Danny.

“Do you remember any of what your mom told you?”

“I remember. I also remember being pissed that you all kept something so important from me. I need time to absorb all this. Once I’m released I want to go home to New Jersey.”

There was a tiny flicker of something behind the SEAL’s eyes, but his face remained otherwise without expression. Danny wondered if it was his military background that was responsible or whether this was Steve’s personality. He also wondered how he could have married such a person.

“Okay. Well, let me know when you are back on the islands.”

Steve sounded tired, but Danny felt a deep sense of resentment towards the man.

“I’m not gay, you know.”

Steve’s jaw clenched and he waited a long time before he spoke.

“You were the last person to whom I thought I would have to defend a decision we made together.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I was being a little unfair taking this out on you. I know the doctors didn’t want you to tell me anything yet, but I’m still upset. If you can let me have some time, we can talk when I see you again.”

 

Danny wanted to get out of the hospital as soon as he could. A few days later he was released on the condition that he continued to attend sessions with his psychiatrist.  
The first thing he did was to book a flight to New Jersey. 

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

“Danny, I think you’re making a mistake.”

“I need time alone. I just found out that I’m married to a man who doesn’t seem to talk very much. I think I pissed him off and I’m pretty sure I’m not Steve’s favorite person right now.”

“Running away never solved anything.”

“I’m not running away. I’m going to see Rachel.”

“Just remember that you’ve always made good choices because you have good instincts. Your husband was one of those choices.”

Clara reluctantly drove her son to the airport, saddened that she couldn’t tell him more. Allowing him to remember on his own was having far reaching consequences. 

The day was sticky and hot and Steve was glad to escape into the air conditioning of the airport. He dreaded seeing Danny and wondered how his life could have turned sour within the space of a week.  
He met Clara and Danny outside the departure lounge. Danny was visibly uneasy when he saw him striding towards them.

“I’m not changing my mind.”

Danny gave his mother a sidelong look before she disappeared in the direction of a nearby coffee shop.

“I’m not here to stop you. Just come back, okay?”

Danny’s shoulders sagged a little with relief. He had been ready for some kind of argument, but Steve was merely there to say goodbye. He noticed Steve smiling for the first time and it made the man seem more human. He found himself returning the smile. It was then that Steve pulled him into a hug. 

Danny froze. 

Something about the way Steve smelled was familiar and he felt himself relaxing into the SEAL’s hold. Steve held him a little tighter before huffing out a deep breath. Danny’s body was responding to Steve’s proximity which confused him. 

He could still feel Steve all over him when he walked away and it left him feeling rather unsettled. 

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Clara was waiting for Steve as he exited the terminal. Steve was always amazed by how a woman who was born and raised on the east coast had adapted to the island lifestyle so easily – much more so than her son.

“I’m beginning to feel like a co-conspirator in a plan that’s going to backfire on us. We shouldn’t have let him go, you know.”

Clara cast a concerned glance at her son-in law before handing him a cup of coffee from a small drink tray.

“We can’t keep him here, Clara. He’ll come back. We have to believe that.”

“You could have given him a reason to stay.”

Steve looked at Clara sharply.

“We already talked about that. It’s not a good idea. Look at how he reacted to finding out he’s married to me. I don’t think he can handle more bombshells at the moment. He can’t find out about Dylan yet. He’ll bolt for sure and then what do we do?”

Steve was concerned about what would happen if Danny were pregnant. Having a second child was something that was decided by both of them during a happier time, but as things stood, it would complicate his situation tenfold.

“This is bad. Are you sure these doctors know what they’re doing? Not telling him is making things worse.”

“I agree. What seems to be best for his recovery is going to end our marriage.”

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Danny’s flight home was less busy than he would have thought. Smiling to himself, he thought about a comment someone had once made about no one vacationing in New Jersey. He couldn’t quite remember who had said it, but it seemed familiar.  
The girl next to him smiled and he wondered if she thought that he was smiling at her. She was very pretty and they struck up an easy conversation. He enjoyed talking to her because she didn’t feel sorry for him and didn’t ask him any questions he couldn’t answer. Surprisingly they had a great deal in common and the flight was over sooner than he had wanted it to be.

They parted ways when they each went to claim their luggage. Just as he was about to climb into a taxi, he felt a light touch on his shoulder.

“Hey!”

It was the girl he had shared his flight with. Her carefree smile drew him in. She was holding a scrap of paper out to him.

“Call me when you get back to Oahu.”

Danny nodded, smiling as he got into the cab. The car was about to pull away from the kerb, when he leaned out through the open window.

“I don’t know your name!”

 

“I’m Amber!”

 

END Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny learns more about his life.

Steve threw a forearm over his eyes against the early morning sunlight. He instinctively felt the space next to him and groaned when he remembered that Danny wasn’t there. He had no time to feel sorry for himself as Dylan was already restless. The SEAL hauled himself out of bed as he heard keys in the front door lock. He had taken his son down to the beach every morning since Danny was injured.  
Clara had started coming to the house early every morning to help watch the baby while Steve went swimming. He felt sad that their routine had already started excluding Danny. He had had no choice but to continue without him until something changed.  
He called out to Clara when he heard the jangle of her keychain and bracelets as she moved through the house. Dylan was overly excited and Steve struggled to wrestle him into his tiny swim shorts. 

“This little man is looking more like Danny every day! Have you heard from him yet?” 

Clara looked wistful as she waited at the nursery doorway.

“Rachel will call when she sees him. Expecting her to not tell him anything is a lot to ask of anyone. The two of them have been friends forever and I feel like a bastard for expecting her to agree. Sometimes I wish someone would just blurt everything out so we can get on with dealing with the fallout – and there is going to be fallout!”

“I’ve been feeling the same. All the things Eddie and I kept from him as a kid is coming back to haunt us. It’s really wrong because we’ve dealt with it already and now we have to go through all of it again. I will be hurting my son twice.” 

Steve gave her an apologetic look as he handed the baby over on his way downstairs.

 

The sun was already high when Steve emerged from the water. His phone rang as he slowly squeezed water from his curls.  
He tried hard to maintain an even expression when he heard the governor’s irritated tone. Steve had been under a huge amount of pressure, but he wasn’t aware that anyone had noticed. He couldn’t wait to end the one sided conversation and felt discomfited when Clara broke into his thoughts.

“If you have a case, I can watch Dylan until the nanny gets here.”

Steve smiled gratefully and did not correct Clara’s assumption about the call. 

The governor had not left him much time to get ready and Joe was already outside waiting for him when he opened the front door.

 

“What’s this?”

"Good morning to you too, son.”

Joe gave him a sly look as he got into his car.

“I can drive myself, you know.”

“I’m aware of that, but this way we make sure that you actually go where you’re supposed to. Besides, do you think the governor gave me a choice?”

“Do we have any new leads?”

“Not yet, but we’re working on it. We need some extra help at HQ, Steve. We should get a researcher or something like that. With Danny gone-”

Steve didn’t want to replace Danny at work as well. He wasn’t ready to do that, but their investigation was almost at a standstill because of a staff shortage. He felt decidedly resentful.

“Fine, I’ll get on it. Do we advertise or do we already have someone in mind?”

“Ah, you know me so well. Chin thinks he has the perfect guy for us. I met him and he’s a little weird, but he seems reliable and might get the job done. We obviously won’t hire him until you’ve interviewed a few other people.”

“Sure, whatever. Joe, is there nothing I can bribe you with so I can skip this appointment?”

“Out!”

Joe was smiling as he stopped the car. 

Steve was still fuming when Joe waved him off. He stood on the sidewalk for a long time deciding whether to enter the building or not. The governor had ordered him to see a psychiatrist, an instruction he had stubbornly ignored until news of it had reached the governor’s office.

“It works better if you go in and it gets easier after the first time.”

“Excuse me?”

Steve turned to see a pretty blonde woman smiling at him. She gestured towards the glass doors leading into the building.

“Okay, well I guess I can’t turn away now without looking like a coward.”

“Tell you what - if you survive your first session, then I might let you buy me a cup of coffee.”

She started to walk away, but stopped after noticing Steve’s confusion. She pointed across the street.

“I work over there. Come and find me when you’re done.”

A moment later she was gone and Steve was left wondering what had just happened. He somehow felt lighter when he entered the building.

Steve had carefully avoided psychiatrists since he was a teenager. The first surprise was the receptionist. He was a talkative young man who showed him to a door that led to an office that looked as comfortable as his living room.

A large bookshelf dominated the room. He was alone in the office, but he heard a voice from a small room to the left of the bookshelf.

“I’ll be right with you.”

Dr Henderson emerged from the other room with two bottles of water, one of which he handed to Steve. He went over to the window and stared down onto the street.

“Sometimes we all just need to be heard. Today is your turn and that’s what I’m here for.”

 

Steve sat down heavily and shrugged. When Henderson sensed that Steve was ready to talk, he took the seat opposite him. 

“I’m in the middle of the biggest mess of my life – and I’m alone.”

“Why do you feel alone?”

“I’m sure you’ve read about what happened to my husband. Everyone’s been focusing on him, and I know it seems selfish, but no one seems to care how I feel. I have nightmares about how I found him under those crates. I’m always too late to save him. Then I wake up and have to deal with the fact that he doesn’t know me anymore. So I still lost him, right?”

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Danny was amazed at the changes in his hometown. He avoided his old precinct because he didn’t want to deal with awkward questions. Rachel had insisted that he check out of his hotel and stay with her.

“I’m sorry to do this to you, but my mum’s visiting, and she’s hurt her ankle. I’ve to pick her up from the hospital. Could you please stay and let Grace in when she gets back from school?”

“Sure.”

“She’ll be thrilled to see you. I’ll be back quick as I can.”

Danny was happy that he was needed and for the first time since leaving the hospital, it felt like old times. He looked at Grace’s photographs above the fireplace. She was older. He felt strangely angry about how much time and memories he had lost. 

Minutes later he heard a school bus and Grace calling for her mother. The little girl was delighted to see him as she flung her arms around him.

“Danno! You came to visit! Is uncle Steve here too?”

She was so excited and he didn’t have the opportunity to answer before she rushed off to her room. He could hear her rummaging while she talked. She came back with a bear which she proudly held out towards him.

“I bought this for Dylan. Did you bring him?”

Danny was anxious as he pulled out his phone. He sent a single message – ‘Who is Dylan?’

‘He’s our son.’

 

Danny’s stomach did an uncomfortable little somersault that left him feeling queasy. He was more than relieved when Rachel stepped through the door.

Rachel’s look of concern didn’t bid well.

“I have a son. I have to go home.”

Her face brightened.

“You said 'home'.”

“What?”

“You said you had to go home. Danny, I think you are starting to remember.”

“Rachel, he is repressed. I’m married to a military automaton.”

“You have it wrong, Danny. That does not sound like Steve at all. Can you imagine what he must be going through? Have you made any attempt to speak to him?”

“I… Rachel, I don’t know him and after what you told me about how we met, I think he’s a little crazy and dangerous.”

Danny stayed for two more days before flying home. The first thing he did was to book himself a room in a hotel. He felt tired and slightly irritated by the heat. The moment he was alone in his room, he passed out on the bed, where he dreamed. 

Danny was holding a baby. He felt a hand on the back of his neck and the soft touch of lips on his.

…and the gentle scrape of stubble. 

He woke with a start. 

He hadn’t been asleep for long. The sounds and images from his dream slowly began to fade. He reached for a notebook and began to write. The images were unclear, but he had heard a child’s laughter and saw dark hair. Everything felt familiar and safe.

Danny leaned back and rested his head against the headboard of the bed. It was just another hotel room in another city. He stared at the night skyline, the lights twinkling in the distance. Somewhere out there was his life. Laying a hand across his belly, he sighed deeply. He had been feeling a difference in his body lately. It was subtle, but it was there every day now. He thought of the irony in the fact that he was unsure of what different was.  
His entire life felt foreign to him, including the face he saw each time he looked into a mirror. 

 

END Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny retraces his steps and makes important choices.

Steve was feeling harassed because his phone had been ringing all day. He had managed to avoid the governor and was relieved when he noticed that it was Danny calling him.

 

“Hi Steve. I flew back yesterday and I’m ready to talk whenever you are.”

 

“Of course. When-”

 

“Tomorrow? And can I come by the house? I’d really like to see Dylan.”

 

“He’d like to see you too.”

 

“There’s something else…”

 

“Sure. Anything…”

 

“Would it be okay to come by HQ sometime today? I’d like to see where we work.”

 

“Come by anytime. I’ll tell the rest of the team to look out for you.”

 

Somehow the short, strained conversation had left Steve feeling incredibly frustrated. This was the only thing he had been feeling lately. The only time when he was not feeling unspeakable rage, was when he was with Lynn. She always left him feeling hopeful and he felt ashamed about how he clung to that.  
He had gone to talk to her after his first session with Dr Henderson. He wasn’t entirely sure that it was the right thing to do, but his whole life was upside down and he desperately wanted things to make sense.

They had bonded over coffee and their mutual traumatic experiences.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Headquarters was quieter than Danny would have thought it would be. No one saw him walking through the sprawled out central area. The offices seemed deserted. The first person who spoke to him was a rather large man with unruly hair that he had smoothed back into a long, curly ponytail. He looked at Danny warily before he introduced himself.

“I’m Jerry. I’m interviewing for the researcher job. What time is your appointment?”

Danny was about to speak when Jerry interrupted him.

“Do you think she’s our competition? She’s really pretty.”

 

Danny looked in the direction that Jerry was pointing and saw a slim blonde woman talking to Steve in his office. She smiled broadly and then stepped closer to him to give him a hug.

 

Danny felt a sudden flash of annoyance. A moment later he heard someone calling him. He turned to see three people walking in his direction. Chin, Kono and Joe had just returned from their lunch break and they seemed overjoyed to see him.

 

“You look great, brah! You should have come to lunch with us. It’s been quiet, so we all went out to your favorite place!”

 

Kono had linked her arm through his and was already leading him away. He craned his neck and was barely able to see the blonde woman’s face as she left Steve’s office.

Kono’s tour was thorough and there was a great deal to take in. She kept the conversation light and it actually helped him to feel less nervous. They stopped to talk to Chin who was typing away on a large computer, intermittently flicking file photographs to monitors directly in front of them. One of the images caught Danny’s attention.

 

“That guy looks familiar.”

 

Danny was convinced that he had seen the man before. He couldn’t remember where he had seen him and trying to force himself to remember always had the same effect – a throbbing headache. 

 

“We can use our facial recognition software. He isn’t really a person of interest and it might take while, but we can look into it.”

 

Danny could tell that Chin wasn’t merely humoring him. His ideas and opinions carried weight with these people. He realized that they were more than just his team – they were almost like a family.

 

When Steve joined them, Danny found himself staring. It was like seeing him for the first time. He definitely felt something when he saw him with the strange woman. It felt a lot like jealousy, but he wasn’t quite ready to examine those feelings too closely. 

He was aware of the SEAL standing very close to him. 

 

“You okay?”

 

“You asked me that before. You ask me that a lot, don’t you? I can’t quite remember…”

 

Steve smiled a big, happy smile. 

 

“I guess I do and you’re starting to remember things. That’s a good sign.”

 

Danny put a hand to his temple and sagged against his husband’s side. Steve led him away to his office, but Danny resisted and asked him to call him a cab. His time spent at the office helped him to feel more positive and he decided that he would like to work with these people.

 

Once back at his hotel, he came across Amber’s number. He only hesitated for a moment before calling her. 

 

Amber had suggested a late lunch at a restaurant that served a fusion of Polynesian and east coast cuisine. They talked about everything and as the topic turned to families, Danny cast around in his mind for any recollection of his son. A dull headache at the back of his head quickly turned into sharp stabbing pain. When the pain was at its worst, Danny had a flashback of Steve and Dylan. It was evening time and Steve had his hand on the back of his neck as Danny took the baby from his mother.

Danny looked over at Amber and noticed her concerned expression. 

 

“Danny are you okay?”

 

“I don’t know. I’m sorry. I need to go.”

 

The lights were too bright and he couldn’t seem to focus. Danny rose unsteadily and wondered if he would make it to the exit without falling down. He called for a cab during the time it took to pay for their meal, but decided to not wait for it.

Once he was outside, he decided to walk in the hopes that it would clear his head. Within minutes bright sunshine gave way to grey skies. The rain came down in a torrent soon after. 

People scattered and ran to get in out of the rain. Danny found himself alone on the street and it felt peaceful.

 

He didn’t remember hailing a cab, but later found himself on Steve’s doorstep.

 

Steve was shocked when he took in Danny’s appearance. His hair was plastered to his head and his shirt clung wetly to his body. A puddle of water had formed around his feet and he was starting to shiver.

 

“Jesus Danny! What happened to you?”

 

Steve pulled him across the threshold. Danny ignored his discomfort and looked around him for anything that looked familiar. He allowed his husband to lead him up the stairs and into the bathroom where he turned on the shower. Steve swiftly helped him out of his wet clothes. Danny absently stared at Steve’s hands as they undid his shirt buttons. He didn’t protest when Steve moved him under the spray. Danny was far too preoccupied with what he had remembered. He only moved when Steve began to wash his hair.

When he stepped out of the shower, Steve was there, waiting for him with a towel. 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Why?”

 

“This… It’s not how I wanted to come here.”

 

“It’s okay. You’re here and that’s what’s important. Have you eaten? We can have some dinner and then if you’re feeling up to it, you can put Dylan to bed? He’s missed you so much and he’ll be really happy to see you.”

 

Steve handed him a sweatshirt and pants which he put on slowly. They fit perfectly because they were his. This was his home, after all, and this was his family.

 

The two men went downstairs together. Steve was barefoot with messy hair and he looked so much more human than Danny had ever seen him.

 

Danny sat at the kitchen table while Steve put the finishing touches to their meal. He was a good cook and Danny enjoyed the food. 

He looked at the view from the dinner table and wondered if they ever sat outside to watch the sunset. When they both finally rose from the table, Danny suddenly felt nervous.

 

He silently followed the SEAL to the nursery and immediately noticed a small boy who looked very similar to how he did at the same age. Danny was half afraid that the child would start bawling the moment Steve handed him over. Instead, Dylan smiled and grabbed a hold of his hair.

Both men laughed and the tension was gone. Danny went over to the rocking chair, taking a book from a small shelf on the way. 

He didn’t read from the first page, but from somewhere near the middle. Steve gave him a curious look, but didn’t say anything. Dylan settled down almost instantly as his father began to read.  
This all felt so familiar to Danny and as he started to relax, he felt the lightest of touches on his neck.

It wasn’t long before his son was dozing. 

 

“Why did you start the story from the middle?”

 

“I didn’t. We didn’t finish the story the last time.”

 

It took Danny a moment to realize the significance of what had just happened, but Steve’s delighted smile spoke for both of them.

 

 

“I get these horrible headaches every time I try to remember something specific. The more I concentrate, the more my head hurts.”

 

The two men were sitting on the couch facing each other. Danny was feeling tired, but he was satisfied that he had made some kind of progress.

 

“Did you remember anything?”

 

“I think so. First I thought it was just a dream I remembered, but did someone take a photograph of me, you and Dylan at a party? There were lots of people and it was getting dark out. We were on a lawn somewhere.”

 

“That’s definitely something you remembered from our wedding reception. Danny, this is good. You’re starting to remember.”

 

“I guess, but I didn’t think my memory would be so random. There are more gaps than anything else. I have no idea how the two of us got together. The important things I have no idea about.”

 

Danny looked around the living room and noticed that there were no photographs.

 

“Where are all the family pictures? Can I see them?”

 

Steve went over to a locked cabinet and a few moments later returned, carrying a box that contained photographs that were once on display as well as a few photo albums. He had divided their photographs into two boxes, one of which he kept locked away in the cabinet. He disappeared upstairs and brought a camera that had photographs from their last barbecue.

 

Danny carefully studied each and every picture until he found the one that he was looking for.

 

“This is the one! Mom tripped when she walked away because her dress was too long.” 

 

“I think it’s only a matter of time before you remember everything. How do you feel about that?”

 

“I want to know everything, good or bad.”

 

You said you wanted to talk…”

 

“Yeah. I haven’t been cleared for duty yet, but I was wondering if I could go to the office with you and maybe help out until I’m fit for duty?”

 

“I think that’ll be okay. I just don’t want you overworking yourself. Would you mind working with Jerry for the time being?”

 

“You hired him? Did he seem a little paranoid to you?”

 

“You have no idea. He’s very strange and doesn’t trust technology, but he’s good at what he does. I think he’s exactly what the team needs right now.”

 

Steve rose and went to lock the doors and checked the windows. Danny took this as his cue to leave. Steve noticed his unease.

 

“Aren’t you staying? This is our home and all your things are already here. I know that Dylan would love it if you fed him his breakfast.”

 

Steve turned away and couldn’t help but smile.

 

“Okay, where do I sleep?”

 

“You can take the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

 

Danny climbed the stairs and once he was in the bedroom, he looked through their closets. He found his dress uniform and his police sweatshirts. An odd feeling came over him. It was something he couldn’t quite describe.  
Their clothing, hanging side by side. 

 

All their belongings. 

 

A life shared. 

 

 

He made a decision.

 

Steve already looked comfortable on the couch when Danny came to stand in front of him.

 

“It’s our bed, so let’s share. I will stay on my side, promise.”

 

He showed Steve what he had found in the closet.

 

“This… seeing our things together makes all of this real.”

 

“I was going to bring you your uniform for patrolman Kahue‘s funeral. It’s tomorrow. You can take everything with you if you want to leave, but it would be nice if you didn’t… leave, that is.”

 

“No Steve. Leave everything as it is. Look at all this. His whole life is here! Everything he worked for – the life he built. I feel like such a fraud!”

 

“Danny, don’t do this to yourself. Give it time.”

 

Once the lights were out, Danny couldn’t sleep. The waves sounded unnatural after a lifetime of city sounds and sirens at night.

He turned and thumped his pillow a couple of times.

 

“Steve, are you gay?”

 

Danny heard a chuckle from the other side of the bed.

 

“Danny, I’ve long ago given up on trying to answer that question. Before I met you, I would’ve said ‘no’. We both had a history of dating women exclusively until we met each other.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“It is what it is. I love you and it doesn’t matter to me that you’re a guy. You love who you love. Simple as that.”

 

Danny liked Steve’s philosophy. He was starting to like the man more, but he decided that it would be a good idea to spend more time with him.

 

“I feel so lost sometimes. I really miss New Jersey, but everything there has changed. I have a son and I would never abandon a child. I just wish that this place felt more like home.”

 

“Well, I felt lost too after spending a lifetime away from the islands. Danny, the people here are amazing. Give them a chance. You already have ohana. We all love you.” 

 

END Chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny sees a familiar face.

Danny woke up slowly. He sighed dramatically and shamelessly took great pleasure in stretching all the way down to his toes. It felt good to do that sometimes, but then as he opened one eye, he noticed someone looking at him. His instinct was to jump out of bed, but then he remembered the previous night.

 

“Morning Steve. What are you doing?”

 

“I like looking at you.”

 

“And that’s not creepy at all.”

 

Steve didn’t answer, but instead ruffled his husband’s hair. Danny’s complaints were a relief and Steve could almost pretend that everything was back the way it should be. He chose to ignore the dreams that reach for him when he tried to sleep at night. They were always the same – he was too late to save Danny. He would wake up in the middle of the night and sometimes he would go down to the water and walk until the gentle waves closed over his head. Hopefully the dreams would stop now that Danny was home.

A moment later the men heard footsteps downstairs. Danny looked over at Steve in alarm and reached for a firearm that wasn’t there.

 

“Oh please don’t do that. Don’t worry. We don’t shoot moms around here. That’s just your mother getting here to take care of Dylan while we’re out. So put your pants on, we’re going downstairs.” 

 

A guilty look passed over Danny’s face because he hadn’t really seen his mother since he returned to the islands. He went to the nursery and found Dylan already awake. He lifted the baby out of his crib and trailed downstairs after Steve. 

Clara wasn’t alone. Eddie had driven her to the house to help her deliver the tons of presents she had bought for Dylan. Danny was confronted with both of his parents when he moved out from behind his husband.

Steve registered an almost imperceptible smile on his father-in-law’s face at seeing the pair with their son. No sooner had it happened then the moment was gone as Clara rushed at her son.

 

“Danny, when did you get back? It’s great to see you!”

 

Clara had already taken her grandson from Danny and was moving in the direction of the kitchen. Danny dutifully followed, leaving Steve and Eddie in a living room scattered with baby gifts.  
The two men eyed each other uncomfortably. Eddie didn’t really interfere, but never completely warmed to Steve either. The SEAL didn’t push for any kind of friendship and therefore the two had a tacit understanding.

 

“I didn’t think the two of you would last the distance.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

The two men stooped down side by side to arrange Dylan’s gifts in neat piles. 

 

“Clara told me to mind my own business, so I did. You surprised me by taking good care of my son, and he’s not the best person to be with when he is in a bad mood. You stood by him through this whole situation and you never complained. You’re a good person, son – the real deal, and if there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know.”

 

Steve was left speechless and smiled his gratitude. He realized how much courage it took for the older man to admit that he had been hasty in his assumptions. Receiving a ringing endorsement from his father-in-law strengthened his resolve to see Danny through what could only be called the most challenging experience of their lives.

 

Steve and Eddie joined Danny and Clara in the kitchen where Dylan had just picked up cereal and flicked it at Danny’s face. 

It was one of those rare and funny moments that made Steve thankful for his family. It was good to hear laughter in their home again. When Danny looked around at everyone, he felt like he belonged for the first time since waking up on this island.

 

“We’re going back to Jersey in the morning, so we were wondering if we could spend the day with Dylan.”

 

“It’s okay, isn’t it, babe? And ma, don’t feed him cream puffs. You know those things are bad for him.”

 

Everyone in the kitchen fell silent.

 

“Danny, how do you know that?”

 

“I don’t know. I think I remember you doing it before.”

 

Clara was beside herself with happiness that her son was beginning to remember. She pulled Steve aside.

“Has he been remembering a lot of things?”

 

“Not so much. All the things he recalls are totally random. It’s all important, I guess, but he’s not yet getting to the stuff that could be really helpful.”

 

“Let me know when he asks about Dylan. That mess is on me and Eddie. You have enough to deal with. I’m glad he came home at least. Being here with you will be good for him.”

 

“When the time comes, and if he asks, I will deal with it. There has to be a way to help him remember sequences of events. Everything he remembers is out of context and it’s upsetting him more because he might not understand all of what he’s recalling.”

 

Steve had his family back together, but he was concerned about how it would all play out. Danny was more resilient than Steve could ever have imagined and he was hoping that his resilience would stand him in good stead in the days to come.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

“Stop fidgeting.”

 

Danny needlessly picked at the cuff of his uniform shirt. It was a particularly hot day and he felt exposed amongst all the members of the HPD at the cemetery. 

 

“I feel like I shouldn’t be here.”

 

Kono put a comforting arm around his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile.

 

“You belong here as much as everyone else, maybe even more so. We were ones that were there during the explosion and I don’t think anyone will give you any hassle. Quite the opposite! Everyone asked about you and if they were allowed to visit you at the hospital, they would’ve.”

 

Steve leaned forward to look at Kono.

 

“That was nice.”

 

“Well, it’s true.”

 

Danny felt fortunate to have a place with these people and the more he learned about his life, the more secure he felt. It was his relationship with Steve that worried him the most. He was beginning to like Steve, but still couldn’t make the leap from liking the man to marriage.

 

He looked at the sea of faces around him, hoping to see one or two familiar ones. When he turned his gaze towards the long line of cars on the path, he saw a man watching the proceedings from the shade of some trees. The man didn’t stay long, but it was long enough for Danny to recognize him.

 

“Steve, I just saw the guy from Chin’s photographs. He just climbed into a limo.”

 

Steve nodded his understanding as they set off in the direction of where Danny had last seen the man. Unfortunately there was no sign of him or the limousine when they reached the road.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Steve was never still for very long, but after remaining in the same position for a while at the cemetery, his ribs protested. His sister would tell him that he was getting old. The thought made him smile, but he had defied his doctor’s orders and went back to field duty before being cleared.  
Most of the police detectives and patrolmen had gone to a police bar after the cemetery. This gave Steve the opportunity to catch up with Joe on the progress of their case.

 

He was leaning against a wall when he felt a light touch to the small of his back and turned to see Danny smiling at him.

 

“Are you hurt?”

 

“Not really. I have a few broken ribs from the explosion and they’re still healing. Chasing down unwilling witnesses on a daily basis isn’t doing me any favors either. My ribs just ache a little when I’m too active.”

 

“My head hurts all the time, but I try to avoid taking pain meds as much as I can. I swear those things are what’s stopping me from remembering.”

 

Danny was holding two beers, one of which he handed to Steve.

 

“You’re not going to drink that, are you?”

 

Joe defused the awkward situation by swiping the beer from a confused Danny. 

 

“Steve was going to ask you to drive because he’s had a few. And should you really be drinking while you’re on meds?”

 

Danny didn’t protest and the two men left a few minutes later. The drive home was fairly quiet.

 

“I love this car, but it feels weird driving again after so long.”

 

“It’s your car, Danny. I think it’s good for you to get to know the roads again. You’re a cop, after all.”

 

Steve was relieved that Joe had stepped in when he had. He wasn’t ready to deal with Danny’s questions on such a somber day. The two men returned to an empty house and took the opportunity to unwind before their son came home. Steve was about to collapse on the couch, but Danny pulled him in the direction of the stairs.

 

“It’s better to get out of a uniform as soon as possible. Believe me, you’ll feel much better.”

 

Steve changed his clothes quickly and once he showed Danny where the rest of his clothes were, he indulged himself by watching his husband. He had been longing for the domesticity of their current situation and seeing bare skin made him achingly aware of what he had been missing.

 

“You’re staring.”

 

“I know. I’m not going to apologize. I’m glad you’re home.”

 

Once downstairs, Steve tiredly sank down onto the couch, pulling his husband down with him. Danny tried to stretch out his legs, but the SEAL was too close for him to sit comfortably, so Steve gently pulled Danny’s feet over onto his lap and sat quietly, waiting for a reaction. 

 

“Tell me about the explosion.”

 

Steve’s fingers momentarily tightened around Danny’s ankles.

 

“I thought I was too late to save you. It was the worst feeling ever. Some crates had fallen on you and we couldn’t really move you until the EMTs arrived. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone, but I keep having these nightmares about how I found you.” 

 

“I can only imagine what you must have gone through. Steve, I’m so sorry. I know I have my own stuff that I’m dealing with, but you can talk to me, okay?”

 

“Right before I found you, I saw someone running towards the exit at the far end of the warehouse. Danny, I think you saw the same person.”

 

“Well now I feel really bad. I have no recollection of what happened and in a way I’m glad. It just doesn’t help our investigation.”

 

“Well, the guy you saw this morning is a step in the right direction for us. It’s a good starting point.”

 

“Thanks for backing me up today.”

 

“You’re my partner and I’ve always trusted your instincts. We are a good team and you’re a great cop. Hopefully soon you’ll feel confident in that role again. I think whoever lured us to that warehouse wanted to cripple Five-0 or destroy it. Maybe we were getting close to a break in the investigation.”

 

END Chapter 5


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Danny have a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I updated, but I'm back from my vacation. I hope everyone had a brilliant start to their new year! All your feedback will be most appreciated. Enjoy.

Danny was comfortable on the couch, strangely at ease with Steve’s large hands resting on his feet. He leaned back against the armrest, closed his eyes and allowed the warmth from Steve’s fingers seep into his skin. This was easy. This he could do, but Steve might someday expect more and he wasn’t sure if he had more to give.

Those hands weren’t still for very long. At first it was only a thumb, but the movement was there, slow and careful - soothing.

The two men didn’t speak for a few minutes. Steve started with the area just below his big toes, systematically working the muscles there until they gave, and finally moving on. Danny was drifting by the time Steve worked his way across and down to the middle of his foot.  
The SEAL ignored the arch and moved towards his heels and ankle before starting on the other foot, again not touching the arch.

Steve had begun to work loose some of the muscles just above his ankles. Those amazing hands were on his calves when he felt his body begin to react. He felt the familiar heaviness in his groin as his cock began to fill. It was almost painful as the tightest knots gave way under Steve’s hands. 

The sensation went straight to Danny’s now throbbing cock. 

 

He was almost overwhelmingly aroused as Steve used long, sure strokes that took him back to Danny’s feet. By now Danny was squirming, his face hot with embarrassment at his body’s unexpected reaction.

If Steve noticed the change in Danny’s breathing, then he chose to he ignore it.

 

The two men locked eyes for a long moment, Steve’s hands never stilling. Danny opened his mouth to say something, but all that escaped was a breathless moan.

His cock grew harder as strong thumbs dug into the sensitive skin of his soles. Those clever fingers quickly found his neglected arches, and as the SEAL relentlessly manipulated the flesh there, Danny’s breathing sped up until Steve pressed down hard into those delicate muscles.

Danny lurched forward as an unexpected orgasm overtook him.

 

“Jesus! What was that?!”

 

“Did you enjoy it?”

 

Danny was almost sure he saw a smirk on Steve’s face. He pulled at the waistband of his shorts to try and hold the damp item of clothing away from his skin.

 

“You made me come in my shorts!”

 

“I wanted to relax you.”

 

Steve saw anger flash across Danny’s features, but they had no time to pursue their disagreement as they heard a car in the driveway. The SEAL unhappily watched as Danny gingerly strode towards the stairs. 

 

Danny’s parents looked exhausted when they finally handed his son over into his care. They were full of chatter about their day and he had no further opportunity to talk his husband. He was grateful for the fact that they had given the baby his bath because he didn’t want to leave their awkward situation for too long. Danny was waiting in the hallway after he had put a sleeping Dylan into his crib.

 

“Babe, I’m really sorry about how I reacted, but please understand that I’m not quite where you are yet. I can’t retur-”

 

“I don’t expect you to do anything in return! That’s not why I did what I did. I just wanted to make you feel good.”

 

Steve felt defensive and sounded angrier than he intended.

 

The two men found themselves on opposite sides of the bed, but Steve felt much further away. Danny was hoping that living together would allow them the progress they both needed, but he didn’t know how to talk to him now.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Steve woke up to Dylan tugging at his hair. When Danny handed him their baby, he noticed that his husband was already fully dressed.

 

“I have an early appointment with my therapist. About last night - we didn’t argue, I hope. I need time and I’m doing the best I can.”

 

Danny had unconsciously answered Steve’s unasked questions as he rallied around their bedroom. He wanted to set Steve’s mind at ease over a situation that he didn’t yet fully understand.

 

 

Danny tuned his car radio to the type of music he enjoyed in east coast coffee shops. It relaxed him during his first drive alone since leaving the hospital. He found it ironic that for once he actually wanted to talk to his therapist.

 

He had grown to appreciate the familiarity of his therapist’s office and flung himself down on the couch the moment he set foot in her office. 

 

“I’ve remembered some things, but I’m so frustrated that all the important stuff is out of my reach.”

 

“Do you feel pressured to remember?”

 

“No one has said anything, but when you’re well enough to leave the hospital, people kind of expect you to recover.”

 

“Which memories are most valuable to you?”

 

“Everything about Steve is important now. We’re under the same roof with our baby and every time I look at photographs, I feel really frustrated. I like having Steve’s attention, and having Dylan’s unconditional love feels wonderful. The way I am right now, with no memories - I just don’t know if I have enough to give to either of them. They are completely devoted to me and I feel like such a fraud most of the time.”

 

“Do you feel you have to earn their love?”

 

Danny hugged a cushion close to his chest.

 

“Yes I do, and there’s something else…”

 

Clutching the cushion a little tighter, he came upright and met his therapist’s gaze. Danny sat hunched over for a moment, trying to think of the right words.

 

“Steve and I had an intimate moment. It was totally unexpected and a little embarrassing for me.”

 

“Why were you embarrassed?”

 

Danny noticed his therapist scribbling a few notes, and though he felt uncomfortable talking about private thoughts, he bravely continued.

 

“It’s like my head doesn’t remember Steve, but my body does. It’s not easy for me to talk about something like this, but I want to remember and I think every little thing can help at this stage.”

 

Danny’s doctor didn’t say anything, but simply looked up, giving him her full attention.

 

“Steve was giving me a foot massage, but for some reason my body responded in an unexpected way.”

 

The therapist’s look was carefully blank, which Danny was glad for, but it was also an enquiring look. He felt obliged to say more. She nodded for him to continue and he felt encouraged.

 

“I had an orgasm. It was totally out of the blue. Well, actually that’s not completely true. I enjoyed what he was doing to me and afterwards I freaked out a little. Steve said he wasn’t upset over how I reacted, but I’m actually really scared of losing his interest.”

 

“Why do you think that you might lose him?”

 

Danny had no answer to that question; at least not one that wanted to admit to.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Being back at the office later that morning did nothing to quell Danny’s fears. He had been holed up in his office with Jerry. The man was great at his job, but tended to hoard papers. Right at this moment those papers took up all the surface space in Danny’s office.

 

“You like the boss, right?”

 

Danny looked up, mortified, only then realizing that Jerry really didn’t know very much about the team members’ private lives. Wondering why Danny wasn’t answering, Jerry stopped writing and peered out from behind a teetering stack of newspaper clippings.

 

“Did I say something wrong?”

 

“Um, no. It’s just… Steve and I are married. I assumed you knew. Everyone kind of does.”

 

“Okay, well, that actually makes this worse.”

 

“Jerry, what are you talking about?”

 

“That blonde lady we saw is making a play for your guy.”

 

Danny felt his face turning red and was glad to be half hidden behind his monitor. He liked Jerry. He was mild mannered and without pretense. They were both discovering five-0 together and he was too wrapped up in his conspiracy theories to be overly curious about Danny’s life. Something about the blonde woman must have piqued his curiosity.

 

“Well, you know about what happened to me, right? There’s a lot I don’t remember and Steve happens to be one of those things. I’m not really sure what I should do about that woman.”

 

Jerry produced a rather thick file from a messenger bag. He patted it and pushed it in Danny’s direction.

 

“You have lots of reading to do. Her name is Lynn. I found out for you. It’s important to know the enemy. One thing you shouldn’t do is sit on your ass while she steals your husband away.”

 

Danny sat back in astonishment. He had had no time to process what happened between him and Steve before learning about Lynn. It brought forth some concerns for what he had up to now worked so hard to build with his husband. 

 

Both he and Jerry looked incredibly guilty when Steve walked in a moment later. The tension in his office was palpable, but Steve didn’t seem to notice.

 

“Danny, please tell me you’ve found us some new leads. I’ve gone over all the old case notes, but it’s not looking good. We’re missing something somewhere. Once we bridge that gap, I think we’ll finally make some progress.”

 

Steve was half sitting on Danny’s desk and leaned close to whisper right into Danny’s ear.

 

“The governor’s been looking over my shoulder because this case is making him look bad.”

 

Danny found his proximity quite distracting. He stole a quick glance at Steve’s hand resting on his desk. Those same hands made him feel things that he couldn’t quite deal with yet. He noticed Jerry craning his neck to see him from behind Steve. His raised eyebrows were a challenge to Danny to do something about this woman he knew almost nothing about.

 

“As a matter of fact Jerry and I have found something. It took a bit of digging, but we now know who the warehouse really belongs to and we can actually go and question people.”

 

Danny rose from his desk and was acutely aware of his husband’s eyes on him. He flushed right to the tips of his ears and when he finally looked up, it was to a sexy wink and a disconcertingly sensual smile.

Danny’s mouth dropped open in surprise. He felt exposed. It was almost as though Steve knew his thoughts.

 

END Chapter 6


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny gets a confidence boost and Steve comes across surprising information that helps their case.

Delighted to be out of the office and away from Jerry’s pushy, but well intentioned advice, Danny decided to take a longer route to Carl St. John’s company. According to ownership records, St. John was the proud proprietor of the ill fated warehouse. Danny was hoping that he would cooperate without any hassle and provide them with the information they needed. He wanted this lead to pan out for Steve as much as for himself. He wanted Steve to look happy because the man hardly ever smiled. He had yet to see the Steve that Rachel told him about.

His buoyant mood seemed to affect the SEAL who didn’t complain when he and Danny joined a long line of traffic. Steve felt no shame in taking the time to relax and steal the odd glance at his husband. Danny was different nowadays, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He leaned back against the headrest and closed his eyes against the bright afternoon sun.

 

“This was a good catch and the most solid lead we’ve had in a while. You and Jerry work well together. Should I be jealous?”

 

Danny, who thought that the drive would have been awkward, couldn’t hide his smile. He felt insanely happy that Steve was proud of him. It was a definite victory for him and just the confidence boost he needed. 

 

“Did we always do follow-ups together in the past?”

 

“Mostly. There’s no one else I trust more to have my back. This is almost like old times again.”

 

“Thanks for letting me out of the office. I’m still waiting to be cleared for field duty. These headaches are a problem and I have two doctors who would rather have me office bound forever.” 

 

“This was your case from the start and I fought a lot of people to keep you on it as lead. I knew it was the right choice when it was my father’s murder investigation and even though it’s morphed into something else now, it’s still your case.”

 

It was the most the two men had been able to open up to each other and Danny decided to use that momentum to talk about another difficult subject.

 

“Steve, about what happened before-” 

 

“Look, you don’t have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable.”

 

“I want to. I reacted badly because it was unexpected and embarrassing. Add to that, my parents showing up and you have a less than ideal situation. I guess I could have asked you to stop, but it was like my body took over and decided that it was what I needed.”

 

“And was it what you needed?”

 

Steve’s question was quiet and careful.

 

“I think it’s what I wanted.” 

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

They found Carl St. John in a large corner office, dwarfed by his oversized oak desk. He gestured to two bucket chairs, but both Steve and Danny declined the offer. St. John was an older man, in his late fifties, with graying hair and a weather-beaten complexion from spending perhaps too many weekends on his yacht. He seemed ill tempered which didn’t bode well. Nonetheless, Danny had questions, so he pressed on.

 

“Mr St. John, what can you tell us about the warehouse that was destroyed recently.”

 

“I don’t own that particular warehouse, detectives. This seems like one of my nephew, Grant’s, hare-brained ventures. The kid wanted to open a nightclub. After you called me, I asked my CFO to get me some information on that property and the minute we have all the paperwork together, we’ll pass it on to your office.”

 

Danny was surprised by the man’s level of cooperation, considering that he seemed antagonistic during their phone conversation. 

 

“Where can we find your nephew?”

 

“That is a good question. I’ve been trying, without success, to get a hold of him for a couple of days now. My assistant will give you his address.”

 

“Have you reported his disappearance?”

 

Steve had stepped forward. It was the first time that he had spoken since entering St. John’s office, having allowed Danny to take point.

 

“My nephew isn’t very hardworking, nor is he very bright, for that matter. It’s not the first time that he hasn’t turned up for work. He was on a drunken bender for a week once and he always surfaces eventually. I perhaps give him too much leeway. You see, he is my dead sister’s only child and having no kids of my own, I was hoping to groom him to take over the business. I guess I indulge the little shit too much.”

 

Danny felt sorry for Carl St. John. On the surface it looked like he had everything, but underneath he had all the same hopes and insecurities as everyone else. Steve looked thoughtful as they left the building and he was very quiet all the way back to HQ.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

“So now we have to track down, Carl St. John’s deadbeat nephew. From what his uncle told us, he doesn’t seem like the sharpest tool. He couldn’t be the brains behind the traffickers slash arms dealers slash everything else.”

 

“Okay, so then he is the money guy. We find him, we definitely get more information and maybe he left us a nice money trail. It gets us a step closer to unraveling this mystery.”

 

Danny was surprised to find documents waiting for him when he arrived back at the office. He didn’t trust Carl St. John because in his experience people did not give up information so easily. He and Jerry took charge of the paperwork, but found that some of it was already out of date. 

 

He showed Steve what they had found and realized that their priority should be to find St. John’s errant nephew. Before he could even ask, Chin and Kono were already on their way to Grant’s home to bring him in. 

 

Steve had a secret errand of his own.

 

He quietly slipped out of the office when he thought no one would notice, but Joe, ever vigilant, decided to shadow him.

 

“Does Danny know you’re having him followed?”

 

“How did you know I put a tail on him?”

 

“I didn’t. I do now. I saw you talking to Mick a few times. I knew you weren’t having me followed, so it had to be Danny.” 

 

“Before you judge me, it’s because I wanted to be sure he didn’t get into any trouble when I wasn’t around.”

 

“Are you sure that’s the only reason?”

 

“Okay, well now you’re definitely judging me.”

 

“Just remember, he’s a detective. Think about what it’s going to look like if he finds out from someone other than you. I did.”

 

Steve shot an ill-tempered look in Joe’s direction before exiting the building and walking towards where Mick was casually leaning against his car. Joe and Mick exchanged a look and a nod by way of greeting. 

 

“It thought I’d check in and give you some photographic peace of mind. Do you want me to continue to keep tabs on him?”

 

He handed Steve a heavy brown envelope which Steve immediately opened. He started sifting through the photographs and froze when he saw several images of a young woman with Danny. 

 

“Who’s this woman?”

 

“She was with Danny on two occasions, so on a whim, I decided to follow her while Danny was with you. She’s from New York. She goes by Amber Vitale, but that’s not her real name and her ex is a nasty piece of work.” 

 

“Is this her ex?”

 

Steve tapped the image of a man entering a building with Amber.

 

“No, that guy works with her. Could be her boss.”

 

Steve handed the photograph to Joe who looked as surprised as he did. The men exchanged a look.

 

“Danny saw this guy at patrolman Kahue’s funeral. When we noticed him, he disappeared fast. This is all starting to look very strange. Mick, do you maybe have any info on Amber’s boss?”

 

“You mean, Melissa Armstrong? I have a name for you, but that’s about it. You want me to do some more digging?”

 

“What I’d like you to do is join the team for the remainder of this case if you can tear yourself away from the rich and idle. We could use your expertise and experience in intelligence gathering.”

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Grant St.John’s home was a rather plain and unassuming affair in a quiet suburb. Not quite what one would expect from a young would be businessman. Chin and Kono had already knocked on Grant’s door and after being satisfied that he was not home, they decided to wait in their car. They had secured a shaded spot a little further down his street and made sure they had a good view of the front and side of the house.

 

“Do you think he’ll come home before I die of old age?”

 

Kono laughed as she pulled a camera from a bag on the back seat. She checked the lens before training it on the house in front of them.

 

“What are the chances he’s on his bathroom floor in a drunken coma? I hate stakeouts. You never know how long you’re going to be stuck in a car, there’s no running water or a bathroom. I can’t believe PIs willingly do this kind of thing for a living.”

 

Time seemed to creep by very slowly while Chin and Kono kept watch. Finally, a car pulled up outside Grant’s house. It came to an abrupt halt and the two men who got out were arguing audibly as they made their way to the front door. One was Grant St. John, and as they couldn’t see his face clearly, the other man was for the moment unknown.

 

Kono started snapping away with her camera, while Chin got out of the car and approached the house. Grant saw him first and fled down his driveway. Chin reluctantly gave chase. The other man escaped in the direction of his car and sped away.

 

Grant didn’t get very far, and as he didn’t seem very athletic, Chin caught up to him easily. He didn’t put up much in the way of resistance either and Chin soon guided back to their car. Grant was very vocal and complained about the heat and having been chased down his street. 

 

“If you object to being chased, why did you run?”

 

“I have rights.”

 

“Shut up!” the cousins said in unison.

 

Kono was already flicking through the photos and made a surprised noise next to her cousin.

 

“Chin, look. Isn’t this the guy from the file photographs? Remember the guy Danny saw? This is him, right?”

 

Chin turned to Grant with a triumphant look on his face.

 

“Congratulations, Grant. You just became a suspect.”

 

-0-0-0-0-o-

 

Steve was in his office, still brooding over the photographs of Danny with the mystery woman, when he heard the commotion that was Grant St. John shouting for a lawyer on his way into HQ. Without a second thought, he shoved the envelope into his desk drawer and followed Chin down to the interrogation rooms.

 

“Has he told you anything other than complaining about a lawyer?”

 

“He’s so far exercised his right to remain silent. He isn’t really under arrest, but I had to chase him for one and a half blocks, so he’s definitely hiding something. Do you want to question him?”

 

Steve declined, but took up a position against a wall near the door. Grant took exception to being handcuffed to his chair and seemed very worried about the drain directly under his chair. He was the opposite of his uncle, who appeared to be a hardworking, self-made type. He didn’t come across as a spoiled playboy either. He seemed a little too simple and Steve was very curious to know how he was involved in their case. 

For the moment he staunchly refused to speak without the privilege of legal advice. Chin used the time to gather information on the man who had escaped. Since their file photo had yielded inconclusive results, he left Kono with the task of running the new image through their facial recognition software. Armed with a copy for himself, he made his way back to the interrogation rooms. Once Grant’s lawyer arrived, they were left alone together, and thankfully it wasn’t long before he saw the wisdom in cooperating.

 

“Who is the man who dropped you off at your house?”

 

Chin placed the photograph in front of Grant, who refused to look at it. An elbow in the ribs from his lawyer prompted him to be more compliant.

 

“We went to school together.”

 

Steve caught a glimpse of the photograph and to his utter irritation, was surprised for the third time that day. He decided to take up a less passive role as he gave up his place near the door.

 

“What is his name?”

 

Grant was about to speak when the door swung open. Kono stepped into the room, carrying a file containing photographs.

 

“I got a name for you, boss. Our mystery guy is Gabriel Waincroft.”

 

END Chapter 7


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is keeping secrets while Danny takes on more responsibility within the team.

Chin sat bolt upright in his chair. Kono’s new information had knocked him sideways. What should have been a step in the right direction for them, had his stomach doing nausea-inducing little flips. Without a further word, he left Grant, pulling Steve out of the room after him. 

 

“I think I might need to back away from this case. Gabriel Waincroft shares a last name with the woman I’ve been seeing for the past few weeks. The name is unusual enough to not be a coincidence.”

 

Expecting Steve to agree with him, Chin was surprised to find that Steve had turned away from him and seemed preoccupied. When Steve turned around, he looked irritated.

 

“No. Stay on it. If your girlfriend is linked to Waincroft, she could prove useful. If you really think she’s mixed up in this, ask Kono and Joe to bring her in. Even if she isn’t involved, she could have helpful information.”

 

“Steve?”

 

Steve was already striding away, leaving Chin alone and perplexed in the hallway.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Joe found the SEAL stomping around in his office like a caged tiger. He lingered at the doorway and watched him for a while. When Steve continued to ignore him, he stepped inside and reclined on the couch. Joe deliberately stretched out his legs, placing them in Steve’s path. Steve made a frustrated noise, but eventually took his place behind his desk.

 

“I don’t believe in coincidences. There are a few too many in this case for my liking.”

 

“Yeah, it definitely is a weird one. Chin looked pretty spooked. He just told me that we need to go talk to his girl. You want to come with me? He and Kono are still questioning the St. John kid.”

 

“No, sorry. Can you take Danny with you? He’d appreciate getting out of the office for a while. Besides, at least with you he’ll be perfectly safe.”

 

As Joe rose from the couch, he mouthed the words, ‘Tell him’. 

 

“What are you guys talking about?”

 

Both men turned to see Danny in the office doorway. Joe gave Steve a meaningful look before brushing past Danny.

 

“This case is getting on my nerves. If I didn’t know better, I’d’ve said someone is playing a cat and mouse game with us. Aside from that, I have a potential witness for you to question. Joe is waiting for you downstairs.”

 

Danny nodded his understanding, but somehow knew that he was at least part of the topic of conversation and that there was a great deal that Steve was not telling him.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Joe seemed as bossy as Steve and insisted on driving. Malia Waincroft worked as a doctor at a nearby hospital and the ride there was particularly rough in Joe’s beat-up truck.

 

“Ride’s a little bumpy. Have you thought about getting new shock absorbers?”

 

Danny felt nauseated every time they hit an uneven patch on the road. That was happening a lot lately, in fact, it happened even when he drove his own car. He remembered enough to know that it was far from normal for him. He leaned out of the window to try and get some air.

 

“There’s nothing wrong with my truck, kid. Are you really going to criticize my driving?”

 

Danny hated hospitals, but questioning a witness got him out of the office. Being back reminded him of the progress he had made and continued to make. 

 

Malia Waincroft bore only the slightest resemblance to her younger brother. She looked a little worried when she saw them walking in her direction, but was nice enough and perfectly willing to talk to them. They followed her into a boardroom where she offered them water which Danny gratefully accepted after his white-knuckled drive to the hospital.

 

“We haven’t been particularly close the last few years, but he occasionally calls me to catch up.”

 

“When was the last time you spoke to him?”

 

“It’s weeks ago now. He was a little preoccupied, like he was worried about something. He travels a lot for business, so he might be on a business trip.”

 

Danny scrutinized Malia, trying to decide if she really had no idea about her brother’s involvement in the warehouse explosion.

 

“Were you aware that your brother was seen in town today?”

 

“Really? Why wouldn’t he call me? Detective, is he in trouble?”

 

“We were hoping you could tell us if he should be.”

 

Malia pulled her phone from her coat pocket and dialed a number. She left a message and then continued to look through her contact list. 

 

“He has a girlfriend, but she lives in Mexico most of the year. You could contact her. She might know where he is. My brother is a good person. When you find him, you will realize that too.”

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

“Did Waincroft have anything to do with the explosion at the warehouse?”

 

“I’m not saying anything else.”

 

After a whispered conversation with his attorney, Grant St. John petulantly refused to say anything further, prompting Chin to address his lawyer as well.

 

“If he is covering for someone, it will be better if he told us now. If you’re worried about repercussions, we can protect you.”

 

Grant shook his head.

 

“You can’t protect me. He can get to me anytime and anywhere. It’s bad enough that I’m in here talking to you.”

 

“If you withhold information, that’s obstruction of an ongoing investigation. We can hold you here on that alone.”

 

“Do your worst. It’ll still be nothing compared to what will happen to me if I talk.”

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Danny found Steve in his office, staring intently at something that was spread out on top of his desk. When he became aware of Danny near the doorway, he guiltily shoved that something into his desk drawer. Danny was intrigued, but was preoccupied with the fact that they had an extra lead to follow up on in their bid to track down Gabriel Waincroft.

 

“So Waincroft has a girlfriend who lives in Mexico. I don’t think his sister knows anything else, but she was very helpful. I hope for her sake that he is the good guy that she believes he is.”

 

“We need to find him soon. We’ve put out alerts at the airports and sea ports. Mick and I are going to his address and we’ll sit on the place for a while.”

“You and Joe have Carl St.John and once Grant is released, Kono and Chin will keep an eye on him.”

 

Noticing Danny’s frown, Steve realized that Danny had no idea who Mick Logan was.

 

“Mick Logan was one of my senior officers in Naval Intelligence. He’s a PI now. He’s the best at what he does and a great addition to the team.”

 

Chin stuck his head around the doorway to Steve’s office. He didn’t look happy which meant that Grant had refused to cooperate despite his lawyer’s best efforts.

 

“Should we cut St. John loose? He’s not going to give us anything we can use. Seems to me he’s afraid of someone. Do you think it’s Waincroft?”

 

Danny liked Chin and wanted to lay his mind to rest about his girlfriend’s involvement in their case. 

 

“Your girlfriend was very helpful. For what it’s worth, I don’t think she knows anything about her brother’s activities. She’s convinced he’s above board.”

 

Steve rose from his behind his desk and immediately pulled a couple of go bags from one of the cupboards, one of which he handed to Danny. 

 

“Chin, you and Kono follow Grant the minute he leaves here. If he goes home, sit on his house and follow him if he leaves. We’re all probably going to be out all tonight, so take care of any arrangements.”

 

Steve didn’t relish a stakeout. He felt less than confident about his ability to stay awake all night. His nightmares saw to that. Watching Danny strengthened his resolve. Someone had stolen Danny’s most treasured memories and with it Steve’s life. He wanted it all back and if it meant sleep deprivation, then so be it.

 

Mick was not only a skilled investigator, but also had many contacts and friends on the islands. He lived in the same area as Carl St. John and Gabriel Waincroft and therefore knew many of the same people. He had arranged for them to set up surveillance equipment in houses that were well positioned for their purpose, but also empty.

Kono and Chin were not as fortunate. After they let Grant St. John go, he made a single stop before going home. The cousins were able to park their car in more or less the same place they had been before. They were well hidden with an unobstructed view of the house.

 

“I think we’re in for a long wait, especially since Grant stopped at his dealer’s before coming home. The crappiest assignments are the ones where you get to watch a stoner sleep it off.”

 

The first night of surveillance passed without event and the teams returned to HQ as the sun was peeking out over the horizon.

Steve bad-temperedly wondered how Mick could look so rested after a night without sleep as he dragged himself into his office. Danny was on his couch waiting for him, himself looking a little worse for wear.

 

“Last night was a total washout, so we get to do this all over again tonight. Hopefully one of our players makes a move really soon. Can we please go home and sleep now? I can’t do all-nighters like I used to.”

 

“Yeah, maybe we’re getting too old for this. All I could think of was Dylan and how I was missing out on a great night in with my family.”

 

“Does that include me?” 

Danny looked suddenly shy which Steve found quite endearing. It also broke his heart that Danny needed reassurance. 

 

“Of course. I love you and if that freaks you out, I won’t really apologize because you and Dylan mean everything to me.”

 

Danny was secretly pleased about being part of what Steve valued most and didn’t resist when his husband wrapped him up in a warm hug. 

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Steve came awake suddenly. He didn’t know what roused him, but he didn’t feel his best. His head was still sleep fuzzed and he felt utterly drained. The bright morning light streaming in through the window made him feel even more miserable and with his eyes mostly closed, he struggled out of bed and went downstairs. He somehow made it to the kitchen without opening his eyes. He sensed someone else’s presence, but was too tired to speak to them or care who it was. Blindly fumbling for water in the refrigerator, he downed half the bottle before bodily turning. He shuffled noisily across the kitchen, leaned over and kissed a half asleep Danny on the lips. Even is his exhausted state, he noticed a hint of tongue between Danny’s slightly parted lips. His cock hardened instantly as he grabbed Danny by the hair and plunged his tongue into his mouth. A surprised, but mostly muffled squeak emanated from somewhere near him and finally when he opened his eyes, it was to a wide-eyed Danny. 

 

“Oh shit! Sorry! I didn’t mean-”

Steve stumbled backwards, almost falling, were it not for Danny’s steadying hand. Both men were now fully awake.

“Christ! Why didn’t you stop me?”

 

“Are you making this my fault?! What is wrong with you?! I was so tired this morning, but I came down here because I was starving. Have you ever tried sleeping when you’re hungry? Anyway, I came down to get some cereal, but once I sat down, I must’ve dozed off. I didn’t even know you were in the kitchen until you were trying to give me a tonsillectomy.”

 

“Well, I’m sorry, okay? Please don’t freak out.”

 

“I’m not freaking out. It felt kind of normal, until I woke up, that is.”

 

In a flurry of movement, Steve lunged. Danny found himself off balance and in the SEAL’s inescapable grip. His head was tilted backward at a painful angle as Steve brought their mouths together in a bruising kiss. Danny, who had been mid sentence, yelped in surprise, giving Steve the opportunity to deepen the kiss.  
At first Danny was frozen in shock, but soon started pushing at his husband. When the SEAL felt Danny’s resistance, he held him tighter. Finally, Danny allowed himself to give in to the hot, slick tongue that was desperately exploring his mouth.

Almost instantly, he felt the familiar sensations of his cock growing hard. A large wet patch was already forming at the crotch of his pants and his rising panic made breathing an issue as he placed a self-conscious hand over his growing erection. Steve was pulling at Danny’s sleep pants and reluctantly broke their kiss to give them a firm yank, bringing them halfway down his thighs. Before Danny could protest or cover himself, Steve had already swallowed his dripping cock.

Danny’s head whipped backward as the sensitive head of his cock hit the back of Steve’s throat. He almost came as Steve swallowed around him. Sensing that he was close, the SEAL wrapped a firm hand around the base of his cock, making Danny growl in frustration.

Danny felt conflicted, but couldn’t stop his hips from snapping forward, driving his cock further into Steve’s waiting mouth. He was mortified by the obscene sounds in the kitchen as he helplessly fucked Steve’s mouth over and over. The SEAL happily allowed him to do this, occasionally holding his hips as he swallowed him down. The two men set up a frantic pace, with Steve pulling off almost completely before taking him all the way in again.

Danny was almost out of his mind with wanting release, his breath coming in shorts gasps as he teetered on the brink of orgasm.

 

Suddenly Steve’s mouth was gone. 

 

Danny’s eyes flew open. He wanted to cry with frustration, but when he looked down into Steve’s eyes, they were asking for permission.

 

Summoning all of his strength just to get the words out, Danny spoke softly.

 

“S’okay. Please… please make me come.”

 

A moment later, the SEAL took him all the way in again, pulling off agonizingly slowly to suck strongly on the head. Just like that Danny was back on that gloriously shimmering edge. Steve pushed Danny’s legs as far apart as his pants allowed, before pushing a knuckle firmly into the area behind his balls.

 

Danny skipped a breath and came with a hoarse gasp. He slumped forward over the SEAL who lifted him over his shoulder and carried him back upstairs.

 

Danny was too relaxed to complain about being thrown over Steve’s shoulder and blissfully watched the world bouncing by as his husband carried him into their bedroom. Steve gently lowered him onto the bed, then slumped beside him. He was asleep almost immediately. Danny curled into his side, uncaring of his sleep pants that were still halfway down his legs. 

 

END Chapter 8


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few surprises for the team and Danny takes a brave step.

Danny woke to cool, salty air wafting in through an open window. He groaned when he remembered what had happened that morning. He was even hungrier than he had been before and Steve was nowhere in sight. 

 

Steve had cleaned him up, but he felt sticky from the heat. He slowly made his way to the bathroom to draw a bath. The house was quiet, and with only the lapping waves for company, he stared at his changing shape in the bathroom mirror. He had tried to make more time for training, but he always felt too sluggish and tired to do much. 

To his dismay he looked softer, even though he had been working out more. He also felt more exhausted after his workouts and wondered if it had anything to do with the after-effects of his head injury. Shrugging off his worries, he went in search of Steve and found him in the kitchen.

 

Danny tiredly sat down in the same chair where Steve had found him earlier that morning. A bowl of cereal and fruit appeared in front of him. He dreaded the inevitable awkwardness of the morning after, but when he looked up, he was greeted with an exhausted look that mirrored his own.

 

“I’m putting on weight.”

 

Danny was horrified that his tiredness had also disintegrated his brain to mouth filter.

 

Instead of looking confused, the SEAL looked guilty which in turn made Danny suspicious. 

 

“I’m sorry for pouncing on you. I was tired, but it’s no excuse.”

 

Danny shook his head as he crunched on his cereal. 

 

“I didn’t exactly stop you. I was there, remember?”

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

The team spent their time at headquarters preparing for another evening of surveillance. Danny was partly happy about spending less time indoors, but dreaded another possibly uneventful evening ahead in front of a wealthy man’s home. 

 

Carl St. John’s estate was a hive of activity. The large wrought iron gates had been thrown open and neatly uniformed valets were rushing around to park waiting guests’ cars.

 

“Well this is not going to make the night easier.”

 

They were relieving HPD detectives who looked particularly grateful to be leaving the area.

 

“We’ll just have to keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary.”

 

Joe winked at him from his corner of the car, before moving into the back seat with a camera. Danny surveyed the upper floors which were in darkness and cast a quick glance at the shaded parts of the tree-lined side of the house.

 

 

A few miles away, Steve and Mick thought it strange that all the lights were on at Gabriel’s home. It was at odds with the behavior of someone trying to evade law enforcement. The men nonetheless rang the doorbell and from years of experience, remained vigilant to make sure that no one left the house undetected. To their surprise Grant answered the door and invited them inside. His overt friendliness aroused Steve’s suspicion. A brief look passed between Steve and his companion, after which both men sprinted towards their waiting vehicle. They made it onto the street, just in time to see a car peeling away from the kerb.

 

“Sonofabitch!”

 

Steve and Mick sped off after Gabriel and caught up with him at Carl St. John’s home. They managed to force him off the road before he could turn onto the driveway. Danny and Joe joined Steve and Mick as they cautiously approached Gabriel’s car.

 

The SEAL’s demeanor went from confusion to uncontrollable rage when the smug-looking man who emerged from the car turned out to not be Gabriel. Steve grabbed the impostor and roughly dragged him out through the car’s open window, before shoving him into the back of Joe’s car. Danny watched the scene with keen interest.

 

“At least the night didn’t turn out to be boring.”

 

The comment was mumbled, but a pointed look from Steve told Danny that he had heard every word. Danny felt like a naughty child that had been called out by a disapproving teacher. He shrank back from the situation unfolding in front of him as Steve, Mick and Joe began to argue about what to do next.

 

Danny turned his back on the three, calling Kono and Chin who were still watching Grant’s house. A hard tug on his wrist startled Danny, and when he resisted, Steve dragged him away. The man was furious and freakishly strong and for the first time Danny felt a twinge of fear.

 

“We’re going home. The team can take care of this mess.”

 

Danny allowed Steve to guide him to the passenger seat of the car, where he sat in silence. The drive home wasn’t awkward, but Danny was unsure of what to expect once they arrived.   
Once inside the house, Steve ignored Danny and marched straight to the nursery. He found him in the darkened room, standing over Dylan’s crib. 

 

Danny turned away, leaving Steve to his thoughts. He had every intention of getting some sleep, but found that the SEAL’s dark mood was already affecting him. He sat on the edge of the bed, where Steve eventually joined him. 

 

“I’m sorry if I scared you before. I wasn’t trying to be an ass. I’m just so pissed! Someone out there took away what I care about the most. I just want my life back.”

 

Steve was absently staring down at the hand that had appeared on his thigh. It was a bold move for Danny, and though he didn’t know what to do next, he knew it felt right. 

 

“I’m here. I came back. You do so much for me and Dylan. That means everything to me, so let me be there for you.”

 

Danny slowly rose and stood in front of his husband. Placing his hands on Steve’s shoulders, he pushed him backwards and down onto the mattress. The SEAL didn’t resist, but instead wrapped an arm around Danny when he came to rest beside him. Steve flinched when Danny’s fingers moved to the waistband of his jeans and dipped beneath it.

 

“Danny, no! What are you doing?”

 

“Shhhh, babe.”

 

The wiry curls beneath his fingers felt strange, but also familiar. He explored a little further down where he closed his hand around his husband’s cock.

 

“Does this feel good?”

 

Danny’s lips brushed his husband’s ear as he spoke. Hardly breathing, Steve’s eyes had drifted closed. He was lazily pumping Steve’s shaft when the SEAL began to slowly thrust into the circle of his fingers. He was careful, trying not to move too much. This saddened Danny. Steve wasn’t enjoying being touched because he was afraid of scaring Danny away.

 

“C’mon, stop being so passive. Just let yourself go.”

 

Steve rolled and a moment later Danny was staring up at the SEAL. He stilled Danny’s hand on his cock, pulling that hand out from between them. He held both of Danny’s wrists with one hand, and continued to thrust. Steve’s weight settling between Danny’s thighs was a new sensation. The pressure and constant movement had him hard in dizzying instant. 

Danny could feel the moment Steve’s control snapped. His thrusts became almost rough and Danny could hardly catch a breath as his body rushed him towards orgasm. Steve tightened his already painful grip on Danny’s wrists as his cock pulsed over and over. 

 

Steve looked like a man waking up from a nightmare. He seemed horrified by his own behavior. He gently placed a large hand over Danny’s belly.

 

“Jesus! Did I hurt you?”

 

Danny misread Steve’s guilt, taking it for disgust. He felt oddly rejected, but told himself it didn’t matter.

 

“I’m fine, but you made me come in my pants – again!”

 

“This time you weren’t the only one.”

 

Steve’s smile looked a little watery as he slid off the bed and padded to the bathroom. He returned with a washcloth and started cleaning them up.

 

“What was that before?”

 

“I thought I’d hurt you.”

 

“And why would you think that?”

 

“I’m not really ready to talk about that.”

 

“Okay. By the way, this doesn’t mean we’re gay.”

 

Both men locked eyes for a moment before bursting into fits of hysterical laughter.

 

“I think we need a day off. I know it’s bad timing, but I need some distance from this case and to clear my head.”

 

Danny nodded and it was in this way that he found himself down at their beach swimming with Steve. The man only seemed completely carefree when he was in the waves. Danny loved the idea of showering outdoors, something that he would have never thought of doing in New Jersey. Steve moved in under the spray with him and only touched him to wash the salt from his skin and hair, his hands never lingering anywhere for too long.

 

Much later Steve found Danny sitting on the edge of their bed, writing in his notebook. He had become paranoid about remembering and took to writing down everything he recalled.

 

“Why do you do that?”

 

Danny stopped writing, his pen poised over the page. He never looked up, as if doing so would steal his memories right off the page.

 

“It helps me to differentiate between what people have told me and what are genuine memories.”

 

Behind him he could feel the dip of the mattress as the SEAL climbed onto the bed. A moment later he felt the back of Steve’s fingers stroking their way down his spine. His entire body shivered, but he determinedly continued to write. Undeterred, Steve looped an arm around him from behind.

Danny looked down at the strong, tanned forearm that now encircled his waist and allowed himself to be pulled backwards and down. Steve took the notebook from his hands and dropped it over the side of the bed.

 

“Let’s do something mindless, like watching a movie and I promise no funny stuff.”

 

Despite his earlier feelings of rejection, Danny found himself nodding and smiling. Steve had up to this point not really done anything that was outside of Danny’s comfort zone, so he happily went along with whatever the SEAL wanted.

 

Danny woke up on his belly and realized that he had been dozing and had missed almost half of the movie.

 

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

 

“Shhhh…”

 

Danny was enveloped in warmth and comfort as the SEAL settled over him. It didn’t feel overly sexual and Danny felt safe and protected with his husband lazily draped over him like an oversized blanket.

 

END Chapter 9


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Danny take some time off.

Danny surfaced hours later, entangled in sheets and Steve’s long limbs. The sun was already dipping below the horizon and Steve wrapped himself a little tighter around Danny when he felt him begin to stir. Danny couldn’t help but snuggle closer as he inhaled the now familiar scent of soap and something else that was pure Steve. 

 

“He’s pretty, even when he’s asleep.”

 

Danny’s words were barely above a whisper. He had started getting used to being near Steve without noticing and found he didn’t like being away from him for very long. He was concerned about becoming too attached, but knew that it was much too late for that. 

 

“I love you, Danny.”

 

Danny jumped. He wondered whether Steve had heard him, but forgot about his embarrassment when the SEAL kissed the tip of his nose.  
He turned away from his husband, which Steve allowed, but the moment Danny settled in again, he pulled him closer and drifted off with a hand placed firmly over Danny’s belly. They stayed like that and the next time Danny woke, the sun was long gone and the beautiful aroma of Italian cooking filled the house.

 

He sleepily padded downstairs where he found Steve peeling vegetables, humming softly to himself. When Steve turned, the smile he favored Danny with took his breath away.

Danny couldn’t stop the grin that was spreading across his face, and for the first time he saw what had attracted him to Steve in the first place.

 

“I thought I’d been dreaming before…”

 

“No, that was all real. I wanted you to know how I feel, how I’ll always feel. Now, do you want to bath the baby while I finish up with dinner?”

 

Steve’s voice was heartbreakingly bright and cheerful and it made Danny feel terrible. He obediently took Dylan from his high chair, but stopped on the way, just long enough, to place a chaste kiss on Steve’s cheek. The SEAL stopped peeling and watched Danny with a quizzical expression as he walked away.

 

Steve appeared in the nursery doorway just as Danny sat down to read Dylan a bedtime story. He made himself at home on the floor next to Danny’s chair and listened while Danny read.

He only spoke once Danny put the book aside.

 

“Do you want to spend the day with me tomorrow? We could maybe take a boat trip or drive out to the North Shore?”

 

“Sure. Joe made you take time off, didn’t he?”

 

Danny’s tone was mildly amused, but when Steve looked up into his eyes, he was met with a look of quiet understanding.

 

“Yeah he did. The word, ‘loose cannon’ was mentioned, and that coming from Joe means I’m way out of control. I can admit to that.”

 

The men ate their meal in companionable silence and later as they stood side by side doing dishes, Danny brought up the case.

 

“Grant St. John is more intelligent than he lets on. Our surveillance hasn’t turned up anything. Either he’s clean or he’s somehow very good at covering his tracks.”

 

“After the stunt he pulled, my money’s on him hiding Gabriel and who knows what else.”

 

“Do you think Gabriel is still on the islands?”

 

“Maybe. I think it’s time we stepped up our search for his girlfriend.”

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Danny woke up to early morning showers pattering on the roof. At first he thought he was back in New Jersey, but the light looked different and it was disorienting. The sun was peeping out from behind thick clouds as the rain continued to beat down.

 

Next to him Steve was already moving about, but when Danny looked over at him, he realized that he was still asleep and in the throes of a violent dream.

 

“Steve?”

 

When Steve didn’t respond, Danny tried a more hands on approach. He wasn’t about to leave his husband stranded in the middle of a distressing dream. The moment he touched Steve’s shoulder, the SEAL sat bolt upright.

 

Steve shook his head as if to clear it. When he looked over at Danny, his expression was a mixture of embarrassment and guilt. Danny pulled his husband into a tight hug and the two men sat there like that, listening to the rain.

 

Danny was always amazed by the weather and how rainy mornings could give way to beautiful, sunny days. Steve didn’t say anything about his dream and was mostly silent as they prepared for their day trip. When Steve didn’t speak during their drive, Danny fiddled with the radio until he found a station dedicated to rock music.

 

“You can’t be serious. Really?”

 

“I like Bon Jovi, and besides, he’s from Jersey. We’re going to listen to this station until you tell me what’s going on with you.”

 

“Fine. I’ve been having nightmares about the explosion. They always end badly. I get to you too late. I can never save you.”

Steve’s tone was flat, but Danny knew that it was for his benefit. 

 

“Shit, babe. You’ve been carrying this around with you the whole time?”

 

“You’ve got your own stuff to deal with. I can handle a few nightmares.”

 

“Well, I’m glad you told me. You didn’t lose me, okay? I’m here, maybe not all the way the way yet, but I’m here.”

 

 

Steve made sure Danny was comfortable under their beach umbrella before taking a dip in the blue water. Danny spent his morning dozing under the shade and woke just in time to see Steve jumping from rocks high above the water. He continued to watch as Steve swam towards him.

 

“You okay? I don’t think jumping from high places is such a good idea or haven’t you read that sign that tells you not to do it?”

 

“You’re worried about me!”

 

Steve’s happy smile made Danny feel lighter than he had in a long time.

 

“Other than you trying to kill yourself, this is perfect.”

 

“I hope I didn’t hijack your day.”

 

“What? And miss out on spending time with you on this beautiful beach? I haven’t been this relaxed in forever.”

 

“I used to come here a lot when I was in high school. This beach looks exactly how it did back then and I wanted to show it to you.”

 

Steve had joined his husband in the shade and caught Danny watching him as he toweled water from his curls. Danny closed the gap between them and gently touched his lips to Steve’s.

 

“Danny?”

 

“Thank you for not giving up on me.”

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

“Did you find out anything from the police detective?”

Gabriel stood by the window of the small apartment, scanning the busy street below. Melissa had always admired his impeccable taste in clothes, even when on the run and hiding from the authorities. The idea of Gabriel dressing especially to go on the lam brought a smile to her lips. She reclined on the couch and brought her slender legs up underneath her.

 

“The last time I saw him, he baled on me. He’s been elusive ever since. I actually think the guy has a lot to deal with right now. I think there’s something wrong with his head, though. He said he lost all his memories of the last few years, so I think you’re okay.”

 

“You think?! I can’t do anything with what you think you know! I need to know for sure he doesn’t remember anything. If he remembers seeing me, we’re all screwed.”

 

Gabriel had moved away from his vantage point at the window and had begun to pace the living room.

 

“Stop sulking. It’s really not a cute look on you. Why are we hiding out anyway? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

“Technically, neither did I, and yet here we are. Just remember, I can’t keep your crazy ex away from you if I’m in prison.”

 

Melissa was no longer smiling and for the first time began to realize how precarious their situation really was. 

 

“What happens if he remembers?”

 

“We’ll have to disappear.”

 

“What if I don’t want to disappear? I’m really tired of running every time something goes wrong. I like the islands and I like my job.”

 

“You like your job because you’re best friends with your boss and he would do anything for you.”

 

“If you’d do anything for me, then let’s stay here and get help from the cops.”

 

“We’ve been through this. If we try that, we’ll be the last on a long list of people who will die a very slow and painful death. I don’t know about you, but the possibility of torture kind of ruins my day. I’m sorry you’re involved in this, but we have to at least try and get away from here.”

 

“What about your family?”

 

“Grant and his uncle are helping me to get them out in the open so I can grab them back.”

 

“I thought your family was at home.”

 

“They are, but Sara’s new nanny wasn’t exactly my hire. My family’s not safe.” 

 

A knock at the door made both Gabriel and Melissa jump. They stared at each other in silence until they heard a whiny, sing-song voice from the other side of the door.

 

“Gabe, it’s me, Grant. Let me in. I made sure nobody followed me. C’mon, the neighbors are starting to stare at me.”

 

“I’m sure the neighbor’s are staring because you’re ugly.”

Melissa made the comment under her breath, but Grant heard her and made a point of elaborately ogling her as he walked through the front door.

 

“I don’t need good looks when I have money, and besides, we all have our price.”

Grant’s comment was accompanied by a wink in Melissa’s general direction.

 

“Do we have to work with him on this? He makes my skin crawl.”

 

Melissa had disliked Grant from the moment she laid eyes on him. 

 

“I don’t have time try and keep you two from killing each other. Can we please leave all that shit until we’re clear of this place? Grant, do we have new IDs yet?”

 

“My contact will only have them ready in a week. The good stuff takes a little longer. I also found us a way off the islands. I had to get in touch with one of Sang Min’s guys.”

 

Melissa felt resentful. She had made a huge sacrifice when she had left her family and friends behind to escape from her abusive husband. Gabriel had helped her start over and took care of her when she had lost everything. She resented her ex husband and at that moment she was annoyed at Gabriel and Grant. It seemed that the people she cared about the most always seemed to bring trouble into her life. She didn’t want to leave a place that she had come to think of as her home.

 

END Chapter 10


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few surprises await the team.

Steve wasn’t particularly happy to be back at the office, and the moment he walked through his office door, Joe was on his heels. The two men regarded each other warily before sitting down. 

“I won’t mention the stakeout incident if you don’t. We’ve been searching for Gabriel’s girlfriend. We’ve already questioned his sister again and we’re checking all properties registered under his and his girlfriend’s names.”

 

“He’s still on the islands. Have you checked for properties under Malia’s name?”

 

“We will now. You look a little less agitated. How’s Danny doing?”

 

“He remembers things randomly and it’s causing a few problems, but things are good right now.”

 

Joe looked thoughtful for a moment before rising from the couch and walking towards the basement, in search of Jerry.  
Even though taking time off wasn’t his idea, Steve felt ready to take on the burden of their case once more. He and Danny were settling back into their lives and he felt positive that Danny would regain his lost memories. He was desk-bound for most of the morning and became so engrossed in the backlog of paperwork, that he didn’t see the woman watching him. When he looked up, it was to see Lynn beaming at him from his office doorway. 

“I hope I’m not intruding, but I was in the area and decided to take you out for lunch.”

 

Steve liked Lynn. She was light and uncomplicated. He had forgotten how good it felt to be around her and found himself returning her smile. Minutes later the two were walking towards the exit together.

 

Danny and Jerry had spent most of the morning working in the basement. Steve’s idea to look for Gabriel under his sister’s name had brought unexpected results and he was on his way to his husband’s office when he saw him leaving with Lynn. 

Joe who had accompanied him upstairs shot a disapproving look in Steve’s direction which somehow made Danny feel even angrier. He told himself that it didn’t matter, that he didn’t really know Steve, but he still felt betrayed and humiliated.

 

Steve returned much later and Danny barely acknowledged his presence when he looked in on him. This time he was grateful for Jerry’s presence in his office. He could pretend that he had no time to talk to Steve. He wanted him to leave, but sometimes the man couldn’t read Danny’s body language very well. He came into the office and took up his usual perch on the edge of Danny’s desk.

 

Danny stared up at his oblivious husband, giving him a saccharine smile that made Jerry wince on the other side of the room. Steve attributed Danny’s curt manner to his persistent headaches and decided to leave him to his work, but not before swiping a pen from Danny’s desk.

 

Chin was tasked with speaking to Malia about an apartment that had been leased in her name in addition to the house that she was living in. He called Steve away from Danny’s office to accompany him to the address. A confused Steve left a rather irritated Danny behind at the office to follow up their lead with Chin.  
Danny petulantly wadded up a page from his notepad and threw it at Steve’s retreating back.

 

 

Chin seemed tense on the drive to Malia’s apartment, so Steve waited patiently until he was ready to talk. 

“Malia didn’t know about the apartment, so I think it’d be a good idea to go out there and see if anyone’s home while we wait for a warrant. She’s been very helpful and understanding, but it’s been hard for her because we’re basically trying to put her little brother behind bars. This investigation has put a strain on my relationship with her. And speaking of which, what was going on with you and Danny in the office before? He looked pissed.”

 

“I don’t know. He’s so different since we’ve been back. I have to take him as I find him. This case is hard on all of us. I’ll be really glad when it’s over.”

 

The apartment was on a major shopping artery and there was nowhere to leave their car, so Chin pulled into an alley a block away from the building.  
Across the street, Gabriel and Melissa were seated near the window of a coffee shop which they had been using for the wi fi. Their table allowed them a full view of the entire street while remaining hidden. When Melissa saw Steve and Chin walk up to their building, she started gathering up their belongings. Gabriel placed a hand over her arm to stop her.

 

“Wait. We can’t risk going out there right now. They won’t find anything in the apartment, so let’s wait and see what happens first.”

 

Within a few minutes they saw Steve and Chin leaving the building. Melissa visibly relaxed but looked accusingly over at her companion.

 

“They’re going to come back. What then?”

 

-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Steve found himself in hostile territory when he returned to their headquarters. Danny was distant and monosyllabic, which he hated. He miserably sat down behind his messy desk with only his leftover paperwork to console himself. He was relieved when the day was finally over and he could leave the office behind. He found Danny in his own office tidying his desk which had been littered with Jerry’s masses of papers.

Danny didn’t say a word, but followed him through the door and fell into step next to him. Putting his arm around Danny’s shoulder was a reflex, but his husband’s reaction was completely unexpected. In one smooth motion, Danny had shrugged off Steve’s arm.

 

“Danny, what the hell?”

 

Danny’s tight smile was painful to look at and Steve had a brief moment of panic because he had no idea why Danny had become so cold.  
The drive home was tense and was made worse by slow moving traffic. Steve couldn’t sit through the entire journey knowing that he had done something wrong, even if he had no idea what it was yet.

 

“Danny what’s going on with you? Everything was really good before. I thought if I got out of your hair for a while, you’d be okay, but things are even worse now.” 

 

Danny’s sigh made him sound tired and he didn’t look at Steve. 

 

“I saw you today. The blonde woman that I saw you with before… Are you two just friends?”

 

“Is that what this is about?” 

 

“I saw you leaving with her today. You looked like… like a couple. It made me feel weird. I’m upset, okay? I didn’t like seeing you with her like that. I’d really like you to stop seeing her. Otherwise, what are doing here?”

 

“We’re only friends and I like having her around. You don’t need to feel threatened by her.”

 

Danny didn’t say anything further and though he was pleasant, Steve felt like there was a glacier between them.

 

At home the two men saw to their son and it was only when they were finishing their evening meal that Danny asked a question that was completely out of the left field. 

 

“How did we have Dylan?”

 

Steve was stunned into silence. His breathing stuttered as the silence stretched on. He could feel his husband’s eyes on him and for the first time he wished he could be somewhere else. Danny’s frame of mind ensured that their evening wouldn’t end well. His chair scraped noisily over the wooden floor as he rose from the dinner table and quietly walked out of the room. 

Danny was left with the remnants of their dinner, feeling utterly confused. He slowly began to clear up and once he was done in the kitchen, he went in search of the SEAL. He found him sitting cross-legged on the lanai. Danny sat down beside him, leaning back against the wall. 

 

“Babe, are we going through rough patch or is this more serious?”

 

“Everything that’s happened since the explosion’s been pretty serious.”

 

“Why’d you walk away when I asked about Dylan?”

 

“I can’t tell you about Dylan. It’s something important that you have to remember on your own. I’d tell you if it were up to me. Please can we drop this?”

 

That was yet another unresolved problem for Danny. He felt frustrated and wasn’t surprised that he spent the night feeling restless. Next to him Steve was having another nightmare that had him tossing and turning. It made him feel inexplicably angry. This time he didn’t wake him, but instead made his way downstairs to sleep on the couch. 

Steve found him there before dawn, infomercials on the tv promising east coast vacations to remember. The men drove to work mostly in silence, but when they stopped in the parking area, Steve made no attempt to get out of the car. Danny, who was already halfway out, slid back into his seat.

“I can’t ignore this Lynn situation anymore. I’ve told myself so many times that it doesn’t matter, but it does. It’s not that long ago that I woke up in a hospital in a strange place and found out I was married to a guy. You’re a good-looking guy, but you have a dick, for christsakes! Then the most amazing thing happened. Over the last few weeks I realized that I care about you. I wanted to see where this relationship took us. I thought we were getting somewhere, but if you regret being with me, then let’s finish this now, before we get more involved.” 

 

Steve flinched at Danny’s words. He remained still and didn’t say anything for a long time. 

“You were gone. I was digging through the rubble and splinters and when I hauled everything out of my way, you weren’t there. After all that, you weren’t even there. That’s when I woke up and the bed next to me was empty.”

Steve’s voice was soft. He never once looked over at Danny, but instead climbed out of the car and made his way into their headquarters. Danny was floored. He was yet again left behind wondering how they would make it through the day.

The rest of the team noticed how tense Steve and Danny were. Danny would occasionally look up from his work to see the others talking in hushed tones.

 

“You know they’re discussing you and the boss, right?”

Jerry was waiting in his office doorway.

 

“As if I didn’t know, but what am I supposed to do about it?”

 

“Well, you have two choices. You can make up with the boss or we can get away from prying eyes. Let’s get out of the building for a little while. Lunch isn’t for a couple of hours, but let’s duck out early anyway. I already took everyone’s lunch order. I always use it as an excuse to escape a little early.”

 

Ever intuitive, Jerry always found a way to stop Danny form pitying himself. Danny didn’t need a second invitation and jumped at the opportunity to get away from his suffocating environment. The sun was already very hot when they exited the building and listening to Jerry chatter on about conspiracy theories somehow soothed his chaotic thoughts.

 

“Haven’t you ever wondered why it was so hard to find Gabriel? Ever consider that he has us under surveillance?”

 

“That could be how he’s always one step ahead of us. I just don’t think he’s the person behind this increase in trafficking and everything else. Somehow I don’t believe a big crime boss would be best friends with Grant St. John.”

 

Danny felt better now that he had something other than Steve to focus on. He and Jerry were in no hurry to get back to the office after a leisurely time out. It was as they made for the stairs to their offices that Danny saw a familiar face. The girl sitting on the stairs dazzled him with her happy smile.

 

“Hi! Remember me? I went to the police station and your colleague told me to come here.”

 

“Amber, hi!”

 

Danny felt a little embarrassed after remembering his last meeting with Melissa, but nonetheless introduced her to Jerry and together the three made their way back to headquarters.

 

They entered the bullpen to the strangest reception. Steve who was on a call in his office came out to greet them, but was intercepted by Joe and Mick.

 

“Do you see why I told you to be honest with the boy. Your secrets are starting to affect this investigation.”

 

“It’s not that simple!”

 

“Nothing ever is. Either way, let’s wait and see what happens first. The girl came here voluntarily. Maybe we can get some information from her. She’s the first break we’ve had and she’s dropped right into our laps. Let’s try to not fuck this up!”

 

Astonished by his outburst, both men turned to Mick, who had already started to walk away. He watched from the far side of the bullpen as Danny introduced Melissa to everyone and observed the exchange of looks.  
Danny and Melissa settled in his office and it was only once he sat down, that he realized that it was more than a social visit.

 

“Something’s on your mind?”

 

“Yes. This is really hard for me and if you hate me after what I’m going to tell you, I’ll totally understand. Just please know that I’m here to help you and my friends. I’m here about the explosion that happened at the warehouse. I’m indirectly involved in it and I will do everything I can to help with your investigation if you provide immunity to myself and my friends.”

 

“Okay, wait here for me. We’ll do this right. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Danny didn’t care about hiding his surprise. He went to get Steve who was still bickering with Joe. Both men sat down while he brought Melissa into Steve’s office.

He took Melissa’s statement, mostly in silence. She was allowed to speak freely and they only interjected when they needed more details. Based on what she told them, they were able to locate Gabriel and Danny confirmed his suspicions that he was not the person they were after.

Joe assembled a small team and went to pick up Gabriel and Grant. Melissa and Malia were allowed to speak to Gabriel after he was brought into headquarters. Steve and Joe lingered near the interrogation room, in total disagreement about which was the best way forward in the face of their windfall.

 

“Why did you let them talk to him? What if he clams up?”

 

“I don’t think he will. In fact, I think it will help soften him up before we talk to him. He needs a reminder of what’s at stake.”

 

Gabriel was in a highly irritated state when Steve finally sat down opposite him. 

 

“You can’t keep me here! I know my rights and you haven’t charged me with anything. You have to let me go.”

 

“And we will, but we already know that you report to someone else, so how would it look for you if we let you go and spread the word that you cooperated?”

“I didn’t think that you would stoop that low. What about my family?”

 

“What about your family? You are the one who put them at risk in the first place. I allowed your sister and Melissa to talk to you. Maybe it’s time you helped us.”

 

“It’s not like that. I don’t report to anyone. ”

 

“Then how is it? If you don’t give us something, we can’t help you.”

 

“My family is at my house, but they’re not safe. My daughter is with a new nanny. She wasn’t hired by me. I don’t actually think she’s a nanny at all.”

 

“Start from the beginning.”

 

“Grant came to me with a business opportunity. He never really had a head for business, but he had this warehouse that he wanted to develop into a nightclub. It seemed like a lucrative deal until I found out who the third investor was. I wanted to back out, but I’d already signed on the dotted line. The man threatened my family and started using my other businesses to launder money. He started doing the same to Carl St. John and there was nothing we could do to stop him. It wasn’t only money. When Melissa, Grant and I started investigating, we realized that he was into everything and controlled so much.”

 

“Why were you at the warehouse on the day of the explosion?”

 

“I was lured there. Grant was supposed to be there with me, but he got held up at the office. I heard you guys coming in and hid at the back, but when I heard shouting I realized it was a trap for me. I panicked and ran.”

 

“And you didn’t think of coming forward with what you know?”

 

“I heard what happened to your detective. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

 

END Chapter 11


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